LEARNING TO TRUST AND WAIT
For as long as I can remember I
always wanted to marry a brother who loved God and served Him humbly. These
requirements stayed close to my heart and prayers as I waited for my Mr. Right
to turn up.
I know that many of my family
members were concerned about my marriage, especially as the years drew on and I
was passing thirty. Each time I saw relatives, they would ask the dreaded
question, “So, do you have anyone yet?” I would either shrug it off with a joke
or begin to get rather annoyed.
I even began to wonder where God
was where my marriage was concerned. I mean, this was not something that I
really had control over.
So sisters, I know what you’re
going through. I know that it gets to a point when so many people ask you (even
though it is out of genuine concern) that it begins to eat at you. I know how
lonely it can get at times. I know how happy, yet sad, you feel when you see
another couple tie the knot.
However, one thing that I’ve
learned through this tough waiting period is to completely and utterly trust in
Instead of whiling away my time, I
decided that during my wait, I would continue to offer my best to God and serve
Him wholeheartedly. Yes, ideally, I wanted someone whom I could serve God with,
but there was no point in wasting my time waiting for him to turn up. As
Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, “He has made everything beautiful in His time.” Yes,
God’s timing is the best.
During this period, I began to
read some Christian literature about single life and how to make the most of it
to serve God. I realized that I had more time to offer to God so I became more
involved with the youths in my local church. I even got the opportunity to go
to Africa to serve the members there. It was a
wonderful period! I started to seriously pray about my marriage and trusted
that God would provide when the timing was right.
COULD THIS BE THE ONE?
It started at the end of August,
At that time, I was working at
home and logged onto MSN quite frequently. I had a friend from church who asked
me about my future and what type of brother I was looking for. When I was asked
this question in the past, I came up with a long list. Perhaps as I got older,
the list got shorter and shorter. However, still high on my list of priorities
were the two things I mentioned earlier: to love God sincerely and to serve Him
After asking what type of brother I was
looking for, my friend suddenly asked me online, “Do you know so-and so?” I had
heard of this certain brother before but had never crossed paths with him. Then
he asked me, “Would you like to get to know him?” To my surprise, I actually
said, “Yes, why not?” In the past, I would not even dare to do such a thing! I
was quite surprised at my own gall!
It seemed as if a new me was taking over! We chatted for quite a while on our
first encounter on MSN. I had some good feelings, but also had my doubts. We
continued communicating on MSN and then through the telephone later on.
I have to admit, when I first
heard his voice over the phone it wasn’t what I had imagined—it sounded too
deep. I was quite nervous and was at a loss for words. Also, I was testing the
waters slightly and wanted to hear him talk more so that I could conjure up a
better image of him!
As we got to know each other
better I began to grow fond of him but still questioned whether he was the one.
“Hmm…he seems nice enough and definitely
has a sense of humor, but is he really the one? Why is it that we seem
different in many ways?” These thoughts clouded my mind. I realized that
the more I thought about this, the more confused I would get. The only way out
was through prayer. Each time I prayed about this brother and the doubts I had,
I would always come out feeling peace and comfort.
FROM DOUBTS TO PRAYER AND PEACE
A month later, one of the
matchmakers of my local church invited me over to her house. She told me that both she and this other matchmaker
had actually been praying for my marriage, but they didn’t know who to match
make for me. She had gone abroad to attend a church dedication and saw a
brother whom she recognized. She suddenly thought he would be a good match for
me and was so excited that evening that she couldn’t sleep! Still, she felt she
had to pray about it first.
When she returned home, she told
the other matchmaker and they both decided to pray about it together before
approaching the brother. A few weeks later, they decided it was time for action.
This matchmaker phoned the brother
and asked if he had met anyone. When he said he had, she finally managed to
drag the name of the sister out of him and was shocked to find out that it was
She related the whole series of
events to me at this meeting and explained, “I felt you had to know all this,
just in case you were unsure about him. Can’t you see? It really shows that
it’s God’s will.” It was comforting and reassuring to hear what she had to say.
Basically, it answered my doubts as to whether this brother was the one.
However, it wasn’t all smooth
sailing after hearing this. I still had my doubts. Deep down inside me, I
always felt that my other half would come from the same background. I expected
him to like the same things as I did, and that our personalities would be
similar. But they weren’t.
I often questioned whether we
would be compatible or not. Despite this, I knew that as long as I entrusted
everything to God, He would lead and guide us to the best possible ending. With
this determination in mind and the assurance that I already knew it was God’s
will, I continued to walk on this path.
The brother managed to persuade me
to fly out to meet him in January, which was about five months after we started
corresponding. We decided that it would be the deciding point: if we met up and,
well, if sparks flew, then we would continue. If not, then we would just be
NOT AN IMPRESSIVE FIRST DATE!
Finally, the day came when we were
to meet. I had just arrived the previous day and was still suffering from jet
lag. The brother had given me directions to the place we would meet and told me
what bus to get on.
Somehow, I heard the wrong number and
got on the wrong bus. When I arrived, he was not there. “Typical,” I thought, “our first meeting and he’s
late.” We managed to figure out later that I had taken the wrong bus so he had
to come find me.
When he finally arrived, I was not
at all impressed. I know looks shouldn’t matter, but having seen a photo of
him, I expected him to look and dress somewhat smarter. He also said the same
about me later when we discussed our first date!
The first meeting went smoothly,
although I had doubts—honestly speaking, I was put off by his appearance. How
strange that over the course of five months, you can talk quite freely and
openly with someone and then when you finally meet him or her, you’re at a loss
When I got home that evening, all
the negative thoughts came to me. I got down on my knees and cried in prayer.
This brother seemed so different from my expectations. I cried to God, “Is this
brother really the one You have prepared for me?” I
was unsure about this whole relationship. I asked God to guide me. Dejected and
exhausted through jet lag, I fell asleep immediately.
CUT TO THE CHASE
The next day, I conversed quite
freely with the brother over the phone. Our second meeting was so much better. He
got a haircut so when I saw him the second time, I actually thought, “Hmm…not
bad.” God had answered my prayer and took away all my ill-feelings.
We continued to meet whenever
possible during my short stay. Each meeting seemed to draw us into a closer relationship
and I began to feel more certain about him. My negative thoughts and doubts
decreased with each prayer. There were a few times when we met up and prayed in
church together. I believe God calmed our hearts and instilled in us a peace
and assurance we needed to walk down this path courageously.
On our fifth date, after a
heart-to-heart talk, he proposed. Yes, the fifth date. It seems crazy now that
I think about it, but at the time, we both knew that this was from God and we were
certain about each other. We didn’t see the point in dragging it out any
A MAGNETIC ATTRACTION
So, ten months after we first met
on MSN, friends and family from both the East and West gathered together to
witness our union. Looking back at the past year or so, I truly see the grace
and love of God in my marriage. God brought my husband and me together, one
from the East, one from the West. We come from very different backgrounds and
our personalities are very different, but the Lord brought us together to love
and cherish each other and to support each other in our weaknesses.
The preacher who officiated our
wedding encouraged us with a beautiful sermon about how love is like a magnet:
no matter how you try to separate two magnets, they will always be attracted to
one another, even if it is as far as east and west.
Waiting for God’s time is not
easy, especially when you feel that time is running out and there’s no one
decent out there. Sometimes you may doubt God or fall into depression, or even
consider looking outside the church. But you must hold on to God unto the very
end. He loves each and every one of us and will lead you to the one who He sees
is best for you, not who you think is good for you.
Learn to entrust everything to
Him. Use your time wisely while you wait. Don’t give up on Him because He will
never give up on you.
“For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right
hand, Saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.’”( Isa
When you begin to let go of your
will and concentrate on serving Him, you will be surprised at what great things
He has in store for you! When God brings your other half to you, you will
marvel at His beautiful guidance.
Pray and entrust all to Him. Be
patient. You never know, our loving heavenly Father may surprise you with an unexpected