THE DIMENSIONS OF LOVE
TAY ENG GUAN (SINGAPORE)
“How much do you love me?” the
murmuring Christian asked Jesus stretched out His hands and said, “This much.”
And then He died.
Love is the virtue many desire and
expect of others while believing that they themselves have already given in
great measure. It is the core of music and poetry, and in this world where the
pop icon earns more than the ordinary head of state, it has become the
fashionable morality.
Singers sing of love and the world
echoes in chorus. They mouth cute homilies on children being our future while
being pregnant out of wedlock. And then they slip in the notion that the
greatest love of all is to love oneself. Meanwhile, another sings to all the
girls he bad loved before, who had travelled in and
out his door. It does not surprise anyone that this balladeer has been called
The Great Lover.
To the most feral, love means sex.
To many others, love means attraction, friendship, compatibility and family.
For dreamers, love is fireworks, laughter and tears and that ultimate display
of sacrifice. Their paragons range from Valentino to Mother Theresa to Oskar Schindler.
In colonial times, honour was the virtue in trend. During other eras of our
world’s troubled history, enjoyment, knowledge and achievement have taken their
turn at the head of the list. I suppose, as Christians, we should be happy and
comfortable that love has taken its rightful place in the thoughts and
imagination of the people today.
And yet, no one can really feel
comfortable looking at the world today. Or see what the Bible says: And because
wickedness is multiplied, most men’s love will grow cold’.
And then again, men’s love will
grow but how?
But understand this, that in the
last days there will come times of stress ,for men will
be lovers of self, lovers of money, ..., lovers of pleasure rather than lovers
of God2.
Love is the greatest abiding
virtue3 but the perversion of true love has become the greatest
deception to humankind. It has literally spawned millions of illegitimate
babies, spoilt innumerable children, released thousands of savage criminals
with but a light reprieve, sustained the immoral and extravagant lifestyles of
music and movie stars, attacked justice and discipline, and compromised the
doctrines of the Bible.
Today, more than at any other
time, we need to know what true love is.
… that you, being rooted and
grounded in love, may have power to
comprehend ... what is the breadth and length and height and
depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge,
that you may be filled with all the fullness of God4.
We want to speak of the dimensions
of love so that we can measure against them what purports to be love.
BREADTH
Too often, people speak of love
but mean it in a very narrow and selfish way. The dejected or perhaps, rejected
lover finds that he cannot love anyone else, not even himself and finding life
meaningless as a result, kills himself. Such is the stuff of romance a La Romeo
and Juliet. The suicide victim cannot understand the anguish he has caused to
his family and friends. Children may get orphaned or even murdered as a result
of their parents’ suicide pact.
Jesus lived and died for all
humanity5. That surely is the greatest breadth we can imagine that
love can take. He died for both sexes, all
nationalities, all races, all people of all time.
How broad is your love? Does it
only encompass one, yourself? Here’s a simple test. When you say, “The church
has no love!”, do you mean no one cares about you?
Because if you had loved others in the first place and not just expect others
to love you first, the church could never be without love - it has yours!
The ever-broadening circle of love
begins with ourselves, then our family, our friends,
going on to the brethren in church, then those who are not saved, climaxing
with our enemies; and all the while our love for God is increasing and becoming
our motivation6.
Are we so easily fooled by a pop
star giving of his abundance to the children of the world while all the time,
the TV cameras are rolling and the press hordes pressing closer for a better
picture and quote ~? But still, that is something compared to the majority of
superstars and religious leaders who speak of love to their poor worshippers
while they themselves live in the lap of luxury. Check ourselves to see if our
acts of charity and offerings are merely to salve our conscience or for
publicity. A truly loving person finds it hard to spend lavishly on himself while others are suffering.
There is another area of concern
that bears looking into. In showing hospitality to visitors from other
countries, every local church needs to analyze whether a disproportionate
amount of effort has been channelled to tourist
groups while students and foreign workers who stay for longer periods are
neglected. Priorities and scope of loving others must go hand in hand.
LENGTH
Time heals all things. Equally,
time can destroy all things. Many a perfect love-match has disintegrated with
the passing of years. Similarly, many a Christian has noticed that his initial
burst of ardour for the Lord has somehow faded away
but how or when it went, he cannot for his life figure out8. The
answer is simple - Time has taken its toll.
God said “I have loved you with an
everlasting love.”9
This is no empty boast. Consider
this. After Adam and Eve sinned, God made coats of animal skin for them,
providing for their protection from the elements and symbolically providing for
the spiritual salvation of human-kind in the future through the sacrifice of
Jesus. Then He maintained a chosen group to be His light of truth for the world
throughout the generations, beginning with Seth, Noah, Abraham, the Israelites
and finally the Christian church. He sent prophets to tell humankind His will.
He sent writers to pen His Word for our instruction. He sent Himself to die for
our sins. All this, for at least 6000 years, in spite of the sin and
rebelliousness of humanity, in spite of rejection and unfaithfulness, in spite
of personal suffering, humiliation and risk.
A love true
Is like pure gold
It won’t wear out
Because it’s old.
Today’s celebrities often have
pre-nuptial contracts with their intended spouses for fear that they may lose a
substantial amount of their fortunes if (when?) they divorce in the future. The
irony of such contracts is that the participants proclaim true love for each
other. The message seems to be — true love in the world is for the moment, ever
lusting but not everlasting.
Divorce and adultery will never be
Christian options if individually, we strive to keep
our marital vow of true love. There will be quarrels between a couple. Yet, if we realize that when we say “I love you”, we
mean it for life, we will work on our marriage. We will not justify straying
eyes or companionship of the opposite sex in times of loneliness or of being
misunderstood. We will not say that our love has died a natural death and feel
no guilt about it.
True love stands the test of time.
It cannot die while the couple is still alive10.
In church, let us also ensure that
our display of love is lasting to be genuine. Let not love be showered only to
someone who is new. Granted that such need more love, there still cannot be a
sudden total neglect after a person is baptized, for instance.
In like fashion, the church should
not proceed with a project if she knows that she cannot or if she has no
intention of sustaining it Of that kind of
image-building and report-enhancing programmes, the
Lord of love has no need”.
HEIGHT
Possibly, the most visible aspect
of love would be the great deeds that are associated with it. The earnest young
man will dare to climb the highest mount, swim the deepest ocean and fight the
fiercest beast for the hand of his beloved. A mother will brave the flames to
rescue her child and a patriot will not betray secrets even under torture for
the sake of his country.
Monuments whether attesting to
great deeds, heroes or wealth are often high structures to amaze the eye and
capture the heart. The power of true love is such that it will raise its own
monument. Though the great flood covered the whole earth and left no mountain
visible, the Song of Songs says - Many waters cannot quench love, neither can
floods drown it12.
It was a man-sized cross on a
small hill in a small country. But the wrenching drama of the Man from Galilee
was the greatest act of love the world will ever know.
Who has believed what we have
heard?
And to whom has the arm of the
Lord been revealed?…
He was despised and rejected by men;
a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
He was despised and we esteemed Him not.
Surely He has borne our grief’s
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed Him stricken,
smitten by God and afflicted.
But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
upon Him was the chastisement that made us whole,
and with His stripes we are healed.
All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned everyone to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on Him
the iniquity of us all.
He was oppressed and He was afflicted,
yet He opened not His mouth;
like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,
and like a sheep that before its shearers is dumb,
so He opened not His mouth.
By oppression and judgment He was taken away;
and as for His generation, who considered
that He was cut off out of the land of the living,
stricken for the transgression of my people?
And they made His grave with the wicked
and with a rich man in His death,
although He had done no violence,
and there was no deceit in His mouth.
Yet it was the will of God to bruise Him;
He has put Him to grief;
when He made Himself an offering for sin,
… because He poured out his soul to death,
… He bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors13.
Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends14.
Jesus Christ
Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.
Whitney Houston
The world has strange messages for
the unsuspecting and the wayward. The great monuments of love such as filial
piety, patriotism, religious sacrifice, love for God and love for our neighbour have been brushed aside by the banner of
individualism and freedom, behind which hides simple selfish love.
Go to the rescue of a man being
attacked in a restaurant? Oh, no! I’ve got a family to look after. Who’s going
to feed them if I should get hurt?
Do more work in church? Oh, no!
I’ve got a family to look after. I’ve got to earn as much as I can to make
their lives as comfortable as possible.
Is there any great act of love
that you can lay claim to? Can God see your love? In God’s eyes, is our
monument of love an EiffelTower
or a miniature representation of our own condominium block? Is there any great
act of love that your local church can lay claim to? We think that all of us
must toil to be worthy of the cross of Christ.
DEPTH
A tall building needs a firm
foundation, the deeper the better. Some great deeds of love when carefully scrutinized
have been uncovered as fakes or to have come from a quite different persuasion.
Soldiers may have died for their countries simply because they enjoy the
exhilaration of mortal combat. A philanthropist may have donated a largesse to ensure the memory of his name, etched in
concrete on some building in some university.
An iceberg stands one-tenth of its
mass out of the water. That is to say, what you don’t see under the frigid
waters is nine times the hulk visible above the water. True love is deep and in
relation to its deeds, is always more than any single one of them. It has great
potential for more great deeds and it has also accomplished many other unseen
works. True love does not boast of itself’5 and so very often what
you see is not everything that it has done or that it is capable of.
A little girl came up to her Mummy
one day and handed her a list. “What’s that, honey?” Mummy asked.
“It’s the money you owe me,” the little girl replied.
Mummy took the list and her heart ached as she read:
For clearing up the toys —20 cents.
For washing the dishes - $1.
For putting baby brother to sleep —50 cents.
Altogether —$1.70
Mummy put aside her apron and started to write a list of her own.
“May I see what you have written, Mummy?” the little girl asked.
She took the note from her and read:
For carrying you nine months in my tummy - Free.
For keeping awake at nights to feed you and when you were ill - Free.
For wiping your nose when it ran - Free.
For hugging and comforting you when you were sad and in tears - Free.
The little girl’s eyes filled with tears and quietly she took her list from her
Mummy.
She scribbled on it and returned the note.
Over the list was written - PAID IN FULL.
DEPTH
We have already said that the
sacrifice of the Lord on the cross was the highest act of love of all time.
Yet, the immense depth of that love continues to astound and move anyone who
has searched and whom the Spirit has moved to understand. What Jesus gave up
for us16, what daily sufferings He bore, the abject passion when the
Father forsook Him on the cross17, death itself’8, all
these were not as visible as the physical and verbal abuse He suffered for us
on the cross. But the love that carried Him through all that was deep and
strong indeed.
How deep is your love? Love makes
the most shallow existence meaningful but if that love
were shallow also, how bleak such lives must be!
One test of depth is constant
thought for the beloved19. People who are deeply in love always
think of each other, cherish precious memories and plan pleasant surprises for
each other. How much do we think about God or about the church? it is difficult to say that we love the brethren if we
hardly ever hold them in our thoughts or prayers. We cannot say that we love
our parents if we often ignore their feelings and claim that we alone should
decide our course of action.
The depth of our love should be
plumbed so that we can better understand our present situation and then, humbly
and prayerfully, improve on it. Similarly, the breadth, length and height of
our love need to be measured, for a more complete appraisal of our condition.
In the same way, love in the True
Jesus Church ought to be measured. We should not solely compare our love with
certain aspects of warmth and care in other churches and then proceed to bash
ourselves for our lack of love. In many places such remonstrations have done
nothing to improve the church but instead have demoralised
members and led to attrition and decline.
The True Jesus Church has done
admirably in some dimensions of love. We have conscientiously preached the
gospel to all, excluding none based on race, nationality, occupation, health or
social status.
Some people initially complain
about the lack of warmth in our church (this may be a result of the Oriental
reserve and aversion to exhibitionism and insincere backslapping rather than a
lack of love). But upon staying longer, the same have agreed that their earlier
impression had been wrong and that believers actually warm up to a newcomer as
time passes.
Believers in the Taiwanese hill
tribes offer out of their poverty to build beautiful church buildings for the
Lord while their own homes remain modest shelters20. Members in the United
Kingdom and continental Europe
are famed for their warm hospitality and concern for visitors and backpacking
tourists21. In Singapore,
members frequently donate blood at hospitals for our sick as well as for nonbelievers.
What about the steadfast love of the believers in the Philippines
who hold on to the truth in spite of their poverty? Or
the sacrifice of the intellectuals from the United
States who gave up well-paying jobs in
industry and universities to become full-time workers? Indeed in every land
where the True Jesus Church is, there are monumental examples of the heights
that true Christian love has achieved.
And what of our depth? Dare we
question those who have died for the Lord in the religious persecution of
Communist China? Or the integrity of our preachers who have given all and
compared to other churches, work for a pittance?
It is wrong to boast of ourselves
but we are not doing so here. If anything, we boast of the grace that God has
given us23. We list our achievements out of God’s love so that those
who denigrate the church of God
may be put to shame and be exposed for their own selfish versions of love and
harm to the church. For he who criticises and lays
burdens on others without lifting a finger to help is the real Pharisee of
today24.
We also list our achievements so
that we can measure them against the dimensions of love discussed above. We
should not blindly follow any other model of love that the world is so ready to
provide. To do so would be to build a skewed version of the love that God
intends for us.
In addition to our achievements is
the acknowledgment that we still have far to go to reach the standard required
by God. Still, the direction we must take is that of building on the correct
dimensions of love. The Lord has demonstrated the extremes of love and though
we can never equal Him, we should steadily strive to extend the limits of the
dimensions of our love.
With this true model of love, we
shall escape the deception of this world and live to glorify God and benefit
humanity.
1.Mat
24:12 2. 2 Tim 3:1-4 3. 1 Cor 4. Eph 3:17-19 5. 2 Cor
6. 1 Tim 5:8; Gal 6:10; 1 Jan
4:20-21; Mt 5:43-48 7.
Mk 12:41-44 8.
Rev 2:4
9. Jer 31:3 10. Mt 19:3-9; 1
Cor 11. Mt 6:1 12. Sol 8:7
13. Isa
53:1, 3-10, 12 14.
Jn 15. Cor 13:4
16. Phil 2:5-8
17. Mt 27:46
18. Heb 2:9, 14-15 19. 2 Cor 20. Hag 1:2-4 (the
opposite)
21. 1 Pet 4:9; Heb 13:2 22. Heb 12:4 23. 2Co -18 24. Mt 23:4
