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奧克蘭教會 郝文麗(Wen-Li Hao)
曾有一個夢，一隻受傷的小鳥，捲縮在樹叢的一隅，仰頭望著那一片曾經屬於自己的藍天，一聲輕輕的歎息。曾幾何時，夢想著在這片如詩如畫般美麗的山山水水間，找到一個可以棲息的家，也找回自己飛翔的空間。可是不知在哪兒，折斷了翅膀的小鳥，卻再也找不回屬於自己的那一片藍天了。
移民的心路歷程，何嘗不像這隻落寞的小鳥，寄人籬下的失落，高屈低就的無奈，心理的失衡，逆境中的打拚。常常聽到聲聲不絕的抱怨，「事業一無所成，財富沒賺幾文，太太忙上烹飪課，老公學會做園藝」；「在這異國他鄉，嚐得最多的是生活中的酸甜苦辣，學得最快的是廚房裡的油鹽醬醋」。如此說來，這移民生活真的是如同雞肋，食而無味，棄之可惜。
坦而言之，我也是這千千萬萬失落失衡的移民群中的一個；但在我的內心深處卻總有一份深深的感謝，感謝神把我帶到了紐西蘭，感謝神在紐西蘭把我和我的家人帶進永生神的國。每當我情緒低落時，或遭遇挫折或茫然無助時，這份感謝常使我得到安慰，得著喜樂。
我們全家曾經是新加坡其他教會的信徒。1998年開始在真耶穌教會慕道。記得第一次參加佈道會時，應邀來到前排禱告，剛閉上眼睛，就見一個奇特的光點從高不可測的穹蒼疾速而降，從我的頭頂貫穿而入，速度之快，讓人猝不及防。
當時的我不是受寵若驚，而是飽受驚嚇。那時接觸基督教也有七、八年了，從未有過這樣的經歷，心裡的緊張難以形容。我知道這個光點是我幾十年人生中從未見過的，它帶給我疑慮，帶給我恐懼，也激起了我的好奇和渴求瞭解的心。
我搜遍我有限的辭彙，找不到一個適合形容它的。曾向一位其他教會的傳道朋友請教過，也沒有什麼令人滿意的解釋。
在我千尋萬覓，不得其解的時候，感謝神，在一次讀經時把我帶到了《使徒行傳》，當我看到第二章1-3節「舌頭如火焰顯現」一詞時，我的心豁然開朗，真有眾裡尋它千百度的興奮，不只是為了終於找到了這個唯一恰當的詞，也為了那光點終於有了歸宿。
這個發現多少消除了我的恐懼，但仍大有疑問。因為聖經中記載，舌頭如火焰顯現會有聖靈賜下，為什麼我沒有呢？如果主耶穌真的讓我看這個異象，為什麼來得這麼快，去得這麼急，不讓我看清楚一點呢？
那時先生也隨我們來教會，對於教會奇特的禱告方式，也有很多疑問。很快半年過去了，又到了下一季的佈道會。前兩天我都參加了，第三天就想邀請先生也來，誰知一提出就遭拒絕。我對他說，這兩天陸續有好幾個人得了聖靈，去感受感受又有何妨呢。最後他很不高興地對我說：「今天是我最後一次帶妳去真耶穌教會，以後要去妳自己去。」
感謝神奇妙的帶領，當禱告結束時，先生竟是那天唯一得到聖靈的人，也是我們家第一個得聖靈的人，感謝神的揀選和恩典。在我走出會堂時，腦海裡出現了一本以前讀過，題為《救恩到了我的家》的福音小冊子，這個題目正是我當時心情的寫照。
那段時間，我們漸漸離開西區的華語教會。當時有好些朋友不理解為什麼我們捨近求遠，每個星期要跑到中區去聚會。這讓我想起一個真實的小故事。
一次，我們和一群好友應邀來到一個朋友在南區的果園。剛進去就被樹上黃橙橙的柑桔吸引住了。朋友有話，盡情享用，所以大家都毫不客氣地摘來吃。不一會兒，有先走到果園深處的人喊了一聲：「這棵樹上的果子特別甜，快來呀！」大家就紛紛跑過去了。
當時因為我的兒子Oscar還小，就特別注意了一下地面的情況。果園因缺少人打理，地上雜草叢生，高低不平，到處是雨後的泥濘。但這些都不能阻擋人們前往的腳步，連兩三歲的小孩也都跑去嚐那更加甜美的果子。我想這是同樣的道理吧！有誰不喜歡更加甜美的果子呢？
1999年，我們全家受洗歸入了真耶穌教會。至此，信主近十年，曾先後在七間教會或長或短逗留過的我們，從此在這裡安定下來，不再尋尋覓覓。正如經上所應許的：「你們祈求，就給你們；尋找，就尋見；叩門，就給你們開門。」（太七7），主的應許是不會落空的。
2000年，我們家又迎來一個小生命。Lynna是非常受神恩典和看顧的小孩，成長過程一直都很順利。但是，從兩歲開始，她的濕疹越來越嚴重，很難控制。一次她染上了水痘，再加上皮膚發炎，使她從頭到腳密密麻麻地長滿了大大小小的疤，奇癢難耐。
年僅三歲的她哭鬧不停，抓搔不停。看著她的樣子，我真是欲哭無淚。長期以來體力的疲憊，心裡的焦急和失望，讓我幾乎再也站不起來，信心跌到前所未有的低點。
感謝神，在教會宣佈代禱後，有的弟兄姊妹送藥，有的出主意，Lynna在大家愛心的付出和持續的代禱中漸漸康復。水痘痊癒了，全身無一疤痕；現在濕疹也大大好轉；很多以前確診的過敏原也不再是問題。醫生曾經診斷說她可能終生不能食用麵粉，但她現在幾乎可以享用全部的麵食，感謝神。
Lynna的濕疹曾讓我們寢食難安，曾讓我們信心跌落，曾讓我們一段時間只知尋醫問藥，在各種各樣的醫術、藥物，甚至偏方中跌跌撞撞。但當醫生也望病興嘆，無可奈何的時候，感謝神慈愛的呼喚，讓我們及時反省自己的腳步，在迷失中回轉。在祂大能的膀臂下，我們雖曾行過死蔭的幽谷卻不遭害，雖曾失落在信心的荒漠卻不迷離。
在為Lynna尋醫問藥、禱告祈求的過程中，雖覺主路難行，更感主恩主愛的長闊高深，貴不可棄。就像走在一個長長彎彎的隧道，當你努力前行，看到一線光明的時候，一轉彎又不見了。
但是，儘管這隧道裡是黑漆漆的，你還是不會停下腳步，相反地更會疾步前行。因為你知道，這隧道是短暫的，在不遠的盡頭，就是一片光明的新天地。《約翰福音》十六章33節這樣寫著：「在世上，你們有苦難；但你們可以放心，我已經勝了世界。」這經文讓我充滿了信心。
神的恩典不是隻字片語就數算得盡的，這些年來在我們所走的每一步路上，都可以感受到神奇妙的帶領和看顧，這使我想起一節經文，與各位弟兄姊妹分享：「應當一無掛慮，只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求，和感謝，將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜、出人意外的平安必在基督耶穌裡保守你們的心懷意念。」（腓四6-7）
紐西蘭之行，看似一無所獲，惟有主耶穌基督是今生比萬有都珍貴的禮物。謝謝紐西蘭，謝謝真教會，願一切的榮耀和讚美都歸給天上的真神，阿們。
Once I had a dream; a little bird, lonely and hurt, was curled up in the nook of some branches. He looked up at the blue sky where he once belonged and sighed in despair. Not long ago, he dreamt of flying to a new and beautiful land, finding a new home, a place where he could soar. Suddenly, he realised he had a broken wing and could never return to the blue sky, his kingdom, where he could play freely and joyfully.
Sometimes, the feelings of immigrants are just like those of this little bird. As foreigners in a new land, we are often required to move down the ranks of societys ladder, creating a constant struggle and emotional imbalance. I often hear complaints from others about their unsuccessful careers and the small amount of money they have earned. Under these unfulfilling circumstances, "wives busy themselves with learning how to cook and husbands with gardening". In this foreign land, we have tasted both the joys and the sorrows of life. We quickly learn how to utilize the various spices in the kitchen. Life is like the ribs of a cooked chicken, tasteless, yet a pity to throw away. Frankly, I am just one of the thousands of lost immigrants, but I am truly thankful from the depths of my heart. Thank God for bringing me to New Zealand and for leading my family into the eternal Kingdom of God. This grace comforts me and brings me joy when I feel helpless, low-spirited or when tribulations strike.
My whole family originally belonged to a Presbyterian church in Singapore. We began truth-seeking in True Jesus Church in 1998. On the first time I attended an evangelical service, I was asked to go up to the front to pray after the sermon. Immediately after I closed my eyes, I saw a distinctive light traveling towards me from afar. The speed of the light took me by surprise when it penetrated my head. To be honest, I felt neither pleased nor flattered at the time, only extremely frightened. Although I had been in touch with Christianity for about 7 to 8 years then, I never had such an experience. The doubt and anxiety I had within me was indescribable. This light startled me, yet at the same time ignited my curiosity and my desire to understand. There is no word in my vocabulary that describes this light accurately. I even consulted a friend who is a pastor from another church but I did not find a satisfying answer. Thank God for leading me to Acts 2:1-3 during Bible-reading one day. My heart was suddenly opened when I saw the phrase "tongues of fire". I was very excited to find the only phrase that accurately portrays this light.
This finding somewhat removed a part of my fear but I still had many questions. According to the Bible, the Holy Spirit descended when "tongues of fire" rested on the disciples. Why didnt I receive the Holy Spirit then? If God really wanted me to see this vision, why did it come and go so hastily, why not let me see it clearer?
At the time, my husband came to church with me even though he also had many suspicions concerning the method of prayer. Half a year passed by quickly and the next evangelical convocation came. I attended the first two nights and wanted to invite my husband to the third night. However, he rejected me immediately when I opened my mouth to ask. I told him that many had received the Holy Spirit during the past two nights and that there is no harm in going there just to gain some experience. In the end, he said to me unhappily, "This is the last time Im taking you to True Jesus Church. If you want to go in the future, you can go yourself." Thank God for His amazing guidance. After the prayer session, my husband was the only one who received the Holy Spirit that night. As I walked out of the hall, a gospel booklet that I have once read came into my mind. The title of the article was "Salvation Came into My Household". This was truly what I felt then.
We decided to leave the Mandarin Church in West Auckland. Many friends of mine did not understand why we seek the church far away when there is one close by. This reminded me of an incident. Under an invitation, some friends and I went to an orchard in South Auckland. When we entered, we were immediately attracted by the delicious looking oranges on the trees. The owner of the orchard was our friend and he told us to feel free to enjoy the fruits. Later, my friend, who walked deeper into the orchard, shouted, "The fruits on this tree is extremely sweet, come and eat!" So everyone quickly ran over to eat the fruits off that tree. My son, Oscar, was still young at the time so I paid extra attention on the ground as it was uneven, full of puddles and because of lack of maintenance, it was also overgrown with weeds. But these obstacles did not stop anyone from going to that tree; even my little 3 year old son went to taste the fruits. I guess this is the same principle, who would not prefer a sweeter, juicier fruit? In 1999, my whole family baptised into True Jesus Church. After 10 years of believing in Christianity, we went to a total of 7 churches, and finally our journey of searching for the Truth came to an end. Just as the Bible promised us in Matthew 7:7, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." The promises of God never fail.
In 2000, Lynna, my youngest daughter was born. Lynna is a very blessed child who received a lot of care from God. She grew up smoothly; however, when she turned two, the condition of her eczema worsened and was very hard to control. When she had chicken pox, along with her skin infections, her whole body was covered in pox and rashes. She was only three then and because it was so itchy, she cried and scratched all day. Seeing her condition made me want to cry, yet I could not find any tears. This additional anxiety and disappointment, together with the exhaustion from looking after Lynna, brought me down to a spiritual low. Thank God, through the intercessions of brethren at church and also from the many tips and medicines they gave us, Lynna gradually recovered. Her chicken pox fully disappeared, leaving not a scar on her body. The condition of her eczema has also improved immensely. Although the doctors have told us that she may be unable to consume flour during her entire life; however, now she can enjoy all kinds of products made from flour. Praise the Lord.
Lynnas eczema had once brought both emotional trauma and spiritual battles to my family. At one point in time, we did not pray earnestly, and only seek after all sorts of medicines, physicians and even non-conventional methods. Thank God, under His callings, we started to examine our footsteps and found our way back onto the right path when the doctors informed us that there was no cure for eczema. Praise the Lord, for although we walked through the valley of the shadow of death, we were unharmed and we did not sink at times of little faith. During these processes, we realised that the path of the Lord is indeed hard to walk on; we also felt the deep grace and love of God, something so precious that we can not afford to depart from it. It is as if we are walking through a long and twisted tunnel. As we endeavour on this path, our hearts cheer when we see a light, but the light disappears as we turn a corner. Although it is dark in the tunnel, you will not stop walking but instead pace faster, because you know that not far ahead, at the end of the tunnel lies a bright new paradise. As John 16:33 records, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." This verse strengthened my faith.
In the past years, the grace of the Lord on my family has been abundant. The Lord has guided and watched over us in our every footstep and every decision. I am reminded of a verse that I would like to share with everyone. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Php 4: 6-7)
Although we seem to have gained nothing in our journey to New Zealand, however receiving Jesus into our lives is more precious than anything in this world. Thank you, New Zealand. Thank you, True Jesus Church. May all the glory and praises be given unto our God in heaven. Amen.
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