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From Doubting to Believing

Testified by Sister Wang 

Hallelujah, in the name of Lord Jesus Christ I testify:

Thank God since believing in the Lord from May 5th, 1996 up to now, the Lord has given me much grace.  I hereby testify God’s great grace.

1. Daughters believed in the Lord

Our family’s tradition has always been idol-worshipping with incense.  On May 5th of 1985, my two daughters came to believe in Jesus and the peaceful gospel came to our home this way.  I have attended church with them several times, but every time I went I would have a headache and feel drowsy, so I did not want to go anymore.

2. Gastrorrhagia (bleeding in the stomach)

For work in the past, everyday my husband and I would leave home early and return late.  Our meals were not eaten at a set time, and life was very busy.  Thus, I went to the hospital twice for gastrorrhagia.  The doctor once warned me that if there was bleeding in my stomach again then I would need a surgery!  However, it was necessary for me to be very busy day and night, so I had gastrorrhagia for the third time and went to the hospital.

The people from church came to visit, but after they left, I dreamed that a centipede was on my stomach.  It scared me so much that I immediately flicked it away!  When I woke up, I had realized that the IV was empty.  I thought that the church people had just come to pray for me, and the Lord let me realize the IV was out of medication.  Thus, I instinctively felt that Lord Jesus saved me.  Otherwise, it would not be good if air began to enter my body.  I began with a thought that if I could be healed soon, then I would like to believe in the Lord as well.

Later, after staying in the hospital for less than twenty days, the doctor said I could leave without having to go through surgery.  This stay was even shorter than the first two times, where I had stayed for more than a month each time.  I told my husband that I wanted to believe in Jesus.  He said that we barely have time to work, how would I have time to believe in Jesus?  Then as we began to become busy making money again, the matter of believing in the Lord was set aside.

3. Truthseeking

In 1994, my children all had families of their own.  My two daughters and sons-in-law continuously invited me to attend the monthly evangelical services.  As they kept inviting me, I became a truthseeker.  However, the prayers and testimonies in church made me doubtful, so I only heard them half-heartedly.

In 1995, my attitude as a truthseeker had a slight change.  While working, in the afternoon I would feel tired and have a build up of gastric acid in my stomach.  So, I would recite, “Hallelujah Lord Jesus Christ please help me,” and gradually got better.

In 1996, at the Yong-He church’s Spring Spiritual Convocation, I went to the front to pray.  I did not know why, but I began to shed tears!  I felt weird and very embarrassed because there were so many people there.  I was kneeling down and crying with a runny nose that was not a pleasant sight, but felt released and a joy in my heart.  Deacon Young said that it was the touching feeling Lord Jesus gave me, and I should not repress it.  He also said that I was about to receive the Holy Spirit.

Later, Brother Wei-Ren Ou of Jingmei church testified for his wife Sister Ya-Ru Hsu, who was injured from a car accident.  Her head was severely injured and the doctor said that even if she woke up she might become a human vegetable!  However, God was graceful and healed his wife.  This was unbelievable and made me doubtful.  How could a brain that was so severely damaged after so much surgery heal?  This was all just big talk!

My daughter heard my doubt, and after service introduced Sister Hsu’s mother to me.  She told me in detail about her own daughter’s car accident and receiving God’s grace.  Then, I realized and understood that this was a great miracle, and that God does exist!  I thought, since God does exist, I also want to believe.  If God would let me receive the Holy Spirit then I will register to become baptized.

4. Asking for the Holy Spirit

After the convocation was over, I still did not receive the Holy Spirit.  As my two sons-in-law drove me back to Tucheng, I felt a loss and said, “Why is it that God would move me to cry, but not let me receive the Holy Spirit?”  They encouraged me to continue praying by attending the spiritual convocation that was about to begin at the Taipei church.

After two nights at the evangelical service, I expressed that I really would like to believe in the Lord, but there was a knot in my heart that could not be untied.  Was this why God has not given me the Holy Spirit?

The next day after service, my daughter brought me to the pastor’s room to talk with Pastor Ying-Fu Lai.  I told him that if I gave up my past beliefs, then I could not worship my parents after they became older, and I would be the only one who believed in the Lord among my brothers and sisters of more than ten people.  This was very stressful, and I would be severely scolded!

The pastor said, “You have to be determined in your heart to believe in Jesus, and the Lord will open up a road for you.  The true filial piety and obedience to your parents is to bring them to believe in the Lord.  It is not piety to wait until after they have passed away to then come to believe, and while you are in heaven have them suffer in hell!  That is being disobedient to filial piety.” 

After talking with the pastor, I felt a sense of relief and I made it clear that if I could receive the Holy Spirit then I want to immediately register to be baptized.  The next day at prayer after service, I cried a spiritual cry out loud and the pastor declared that I had received the Holy Spirit.  So amidst the congratulations from some sisters, I happily signed up for baptism.

5. Receiving baptism

On Saturday, May 4th of 1996, the sky of Taipei had a torrential rain, so the pastor wanted us to pray for next day’s weather for baptism.

On Sunday, May 5th of 1996, when the sky was clearing, the rain had stopped for a while.  The baptism had gone smoothly, but on the way back there, it started raining again!  Deacon Rong-Guang Hsiao said that the Lord had cleansed the stream water with the thunderstorm to prepare a clean stream for everyone to receive the baptism of the Lord’s precious blood. This was truly God’s grace.

6.  Water into the ears

The night of the baptism, my heart sank.  During baptism, I saw in the water there two red lights the size of small light bulbs pass through from the right to the left ear.  When I rose out of the water, water went into my ears and became trapped there.  It did not work whether I used my finger or a q-tip, and the clogging was unbearable.  I held it in until that night but my ears were still not better.  I even got an inflammation from digging in too much.  I thought did God let me be like this?  I had gone through so much trouble that I wanted to ask for peace but it turned into tinnitus and made me regret going to receive baptism!  I wanted to see a doctor, but was afraid of being mocked by my son and daughter-in-law who did not believe in the Lord.  I had no heart to pray that night and would not listen to any words of encouragement, so I went to sleep with the tinnitus and annoyance.

In the middle of the night, two rays of florescent-like lights that were bright and gently shined on my face.  In my deep somber, I could be aware enough to know that Lord Jesus had come.  There was a surge of power that made me immediately get up to pray.  After praying for a while, I lay down and fell deeply asleep.  At daybreak, I had forgotten about my ears, and when I did think about them I did not know when my ears had cleared up.  It was as if nothing had ever happened to them. 

7. Watching the temple fair

I like to go to the temple fair, but did not know that God was jealous and hated idols.  I did not know that those who believed in the Lord could not be tainted with these impurities anymore.

One afternoon, not long after I was baptized, there was a group of idol-welcoming people with gongs and drums passing the front of my house.  I was resting, but woke up and out of curiosity went to my window to look on.

Then in the middle of the night, after a sashaying sound, there was a voice that said, “Coming! Coming!”  In my spirit I had already become alerted and prayed in silent.  Then a big black shadow followed and suddenly seized my throat.   I shouted with all my strength, “Hallelujah, in the name of Lord Jesus Christ cast Satan away!” I firmly cast it three times, and it disappeared.

Since then, I was so happy that I could not sleep because I felt that it was so good to believe in Jesus.  Before when I did not know the Lord, if Satan suppressed me so that I could not even move, I would not even be able to cry out.  After daybreak, I got up from beg and looked in the mirror and the scratch mark on my neck was still red and very clear.  I testified to my son and daughter-in-law, but my daughter-in-law was afraid of what she heard.  Then, I said that with Lord Jesus protecting me, there was no need to fear.

Afterwards I had the flu several times and when I was coughing, I would even cough out some blood.  When my back became sore and painful, it was healed through prayer.  At that time I thought, I have believed in the Lord.  If I concentrate and pray then the Lord will heal me, but if I go to see a doctor it would make the Lord lose face.  Thank God for listening to my prayer, my sickness would usually go away within three to at most seven days.   

8. Life in spiritual cultivation

After believing in the Lord, I really like listening to the Word, praying, and reading the Bible.  Even though I am not very literate, there are many stories about Jesus in the Bible that I like to learn about.  Unfortunately, I cannot read enough words.  Thus, I would often ask the Lord to let me recognize more words as I read the Bible, and sing hymns. Usually, in my free time I like to play related audio tapes to listen as well.

I remember that before believing in the Lord, I could not understand the tapes my daughters gave me, and even threw them away.  Miraculously, after receiving baptism, I could understand all the things that I did not in the past, and even enjoyed listening.  On top of that, I would practice flipping to the verses pastors have said, and through many marks and practicing, now I am adept at it.  Also, the Lord knows that I really like singing hymns, and He helped me remember the lyrics and rhythm as part of the hymnal choir.  I am so happy when I can sing and praise God with everyone without feeling nervous!

I remember at my second daughter’s wedding, I still had not believed in the Lord yet.  The first time that I saw the choir present hymns for the new couple, I thought the hymnals sounded so wonderful and greatly touched my heart.  I thought to myself that if one day I believed in the Lord, I would also want to join the choir. Reflecting on this now, I believe the Lord’s choosing and guiding is truly amazing.

9. The Holy Spirit disappeared

I never thought that the Holy Spirit would go away!  One day before service. I had an argument with my husband.  I angrily swore at him and said, “You just go die, and don’t go to service!”  Even though after the words were said, something in my heart did not feel right, we still kept arguing on the way to church.  Consequently, when I kneeled down to pray I was very frightened.  No matter how hard I tried, the spiritual Tongue that was usually fluent was gone.

I was terribly crying because I knew I had said something wrong.  There was a thought in my heart that the mouth is used to pray, not to swear at others.  I kept repenting and prayed for a long time.  Finally my tears melted into smiles as God renewed and gave me the precious Holy Spirit.  My heart was thus filled with a gush joy and thankfulness

10. Car accident

There was a period of time when I became low in spirituality and experienced spiritual frustration with powerless prayers.  During this time, I had a car accident.

I was riding a bicycle to pick up my two grandchildren from their elementary school. On the way home they saw their friends, and they wanted to walk home with them, so I left first.  I was going down hill and slipped on the way down, but did not know that at the corner ahead, there was a large, oncoming truck.  I could not maneuver the front of the bicycle quickly enough. After some chaotic confusion, my whole body had fallen to the side of the road and I had gotten many wounds on my knees. I was in so much pain that for a long time I could not stand up.  When I finally went back home, I kept praying.

On Sabbath day the next day, my knees were so swollen that I could not walk!  My two sons-in-law drove me to church. Every step I walked I would yell “Hallelujah,” as I climbed up to the Tucheng church on the sixth floor for service.  After service, even though my knees were still swollen, they were not in pain anymore and I could walk.  Because of this, I decided not to see a doctor.  I also participated when the church had events such as visitations or went on trips to hand out fliers.

After a period of time, my knees became inflamed again, and were so swollen that I could not kneel down!  Everyone suggested that I go see the doctor, in case my condition worsened.

I followed their advice and ended up staying at the hospital for three days.  The doctor opened up two holes in my knees to look at the joints in detail, and discovered that I had severe chondritis (inflammation of the cartilage), and spurs had grown in my bones.  After consecutively taking medication for a month, the doctor said that the sickness would not heal but could only be controlled through medication!  Then I threw away the medicine because I had developed a fear for them.  I thought that if it hurt my body and I could not be completely healed anyway, I might as well rely on God.

A deacon’s wife encouraged me and said, “The doctor is only human, but when you rely on God, He will cure you.”  Consequently, my knees did not heal quickly and I would feel pain spasms and sore from the pain.  I have also woken up because of the pain in the middle of the night, and unable to kneel down to pray!  I often thought that I have prayed for such a long time, why am I not better yet?  My faith was also wavering because of this.  The deacon’s wife encouraged me and told me this: if you have the faith to continue to pray, then one day God will make you so much better that you won’t even realize it yourself.  A church sister also invited me to pray with her at and even called me everyday to remind me to pray.

Author: Sister Wang