"IT IS NOT GOOD THAT MAN SHOULD BE ALONE..."

S. T. Hsieh

            'And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him." (Gen 2:18)

Introduction                               

God created the universe in six days. On the first day He created light, and as the Bible records, "God saw the light" that it was good" (Gen 1: 4).  On subsequent days and in subsequent verses, this phrase is repeated five times: "God saw that it was good" (Gen 1:10, 12,18,21,25).  Finally, the Bible states, "And God saw everything that He had made, and indeed, it was very good" (Gen 1:31).  At only one point in the Creation did God note a shortcoming.  "it is not good," it says in chapter two, "that man should be alone." Thus, God created woman to be man's spouse.

God's Purposes for Establishing Matrimony 

1.       It is Not Good to Be Alone        

a. It is the unvarnished truth that no one should be alone in the world. Children need playmates, the aged needs companions, and youths need friends; otherwise, loneliness is the inevitable consequence for persons of any age or sex.

b. After Adam and Eve sinned, their eyes were opened, and they found themselves naked.  They then sewed fig leaves together and made themselves aprons (Gen 3:7).  This was the beginning of sexual awareness in mankind.  Sex thus become a physiological necessity for both men and women.  However, because of the temptation to immorality, the Bible instructs that each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband (1 Cor 7:2).

c. The Lord God took Adam and put him in the garden of Eden to till it and keep it (Gen 2:15); therefore, Adam was continually busy, and needed a helpmate.

d. Woman is "the weaker vessel" (1 Pet 3:7). Her willpower, emotional stability, and physical strength, generally speaking, are not equal to man's.

Therefore, God established matrimony for human beings. The purposes of such an institution were manifold: to provide both sexes with companionship in order to avoid loneliness, to provide satisfaction for the physiological needs of both sexes, to maintain order in both the home and society, to provide man with suitable help in his life and work so as to lighten the burdens on his body and mind, and to provide woman with suitable means so as to prevent anxiety and allow a peaceful life.  With the resolution of these difficulties, everything truly was perfect!  "And everything that was made was good."

2. Continuation of the Human Species

The vegetables and fruits that God created all contained seeds or nuts; likewise, the fish in the seas and birds in the air all had a means to multiply. (Gen 1:11,12,21,22).  Then God blessed mankind, and said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth (Gen 1:28).

The animals and plants that God created were plentiful, and man was needed to manage them.  Thus, God gave him the ability to reproduce, so that he might manage the earth generation upon generation-the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, and all living creatures on earth (Gen 1:28).

            'Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is His reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth." (Ps 127:3,4)

Produce is the resource of a farmer, and arrows the resource of a warrior. Likewise, the children of one's youth are a resource when one becomes old and infirm.  They will then, naturally, be children no longer, but adults upon whom one can rely.  Thus, the second reason why God established matrimony for mankind was to give him a means to multiply, to manage the earth generation upon generation and to provide him with a source of care in his latter years, so that he might enjoy them.

The Ingenious Way In Which God Created Woman

1. God Did Not Use Dust from the Ground to Create Woman

            'And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place.  Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman and He brought her to the man.' (Gen 2:21,22)

If God created man from the dust of the ground (Gen 2:7), why did He not also do the same with woman?  Instead, he used a rib from the man from which to form the woman.

In God’s view, the ideal relationship between husband and wife is as follows: ".,.and they shall become one flesh" (Gen 2:24).  If God had created man and woman separately from dust, the full meaning and significance of the phrase "one flesh" would not exist.  Therefore, it was necessary that woman be created to be man's spouse from out of the man himself.

2. God Used Man's Rib to Create Woman

Why did God choose to use the rib bone from the man to create the woman instead of a bone from, for example, his head or his foot?  If He had used a part of the man's head, the woman may have then felt superior to her husband, and regarded him as a subordinate.  The natural order would have been turned upside down, resulting in a disruption of family harmony.  If God had used a bone from man’s foot, perhaps man subsequently would have despised the woman, netting her a lifetime of misery.  As it is, the rib is neither a structure of high or low position in the man's body, and has the added function of protection.  It is thus both important and precious, and this is why it was used by God in the creation of woman.

            'And Adam said,' This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." (Gen 2:23)

When Adam woke up and found the woman beside him, he knew that she had been created from his rib.  How joyful and amazed he must have been in his heart, at this evidence of God's ingenuity!  The phrase "Bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" serves to indicate that Adam and Eve shared the same bones and flesh; the blood circulating in the veins of Eve was identical to that within Adam.  Adam and Eve were originally one; henceforth they should remain one forever.

3. Husband and Wife Should Have One Spirit

            'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.' (Gen 2:24)

When the Bible states that a man will leave his father and mother, this does not mean that he will abandon his parents.  It simply means that at a certain point he is mature and therefore no longer needs to depend on his parents for nurturing.  The phrase be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh..." indicates that a united and harmonious spirit should exist between man and wife.  After marriage, man's "missing rib" is symbolically restored to him through union with woman, who was formed from that rib.

A Husband's Responsibilities

Obviously, no man ever hates his own flesh; rather, most make it a point to devote the bulk of their energies to protecting and gratifying themselves.  A man's wife is "bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh", and therefore when the husband loves her it is commensurate with loving himself.  "So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own body" (Eph 5:28,29).

Since his wife is considered of 'the weaker sex", a husband should live in consideration of her in all things.  To paraphrase the Bible, do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, also respect her, so that your prayers may not be hindered (1 Pet 3:7; 1 Cor 7:5).

The church is the bide of Christ (Eph 5:31,32).  Under this allegory, a husband should love his wife and sacrifice himself for her happiness, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for it (Eph 5:25).  Before a husband criticizes his wife for not being submissive enough, he must first examine himself to see whether or not he has loved her to the point of sacrificing himself for her.  If he could bear the responsibility of loving his wife as himself and be able to willingly sacrifice himself for her, how could she not have the utmost respect for him?

A Wife's Responsibilities

Woman was formed from the bone of a man's body, and after marriage this bone is thus restored to him, and the two individuals become one.  A body can only have one head - a man with two heads has yet to exist!  Therefore the Bible designates that the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church.  Just as the church is subject to Christ in all things, so should the wife be subject in everything to her husband (Eph 5:22-24).  The Bible provides some very explicit guidelines for wives.  A wife should be “a hidden person of the heart with the imperishable jewel of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is more precious than the outward adorning with braiding of hair, decoration of gold, and wearing of robes.  So once the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves and were submissive to their husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. if so, some husbands who do not obey the Word may be won without a word by the reverent and chaste behavior of their wives” (1 Pet3:1-6).

Before a wife can blame her husband for not loving her, she must first examine herself to see if she has been submissive to him, as the church is submissive to Christ.  Also, the wife was created in order to provide Adam with a helpmate in the garden of Eden (Gen 2:18,20).  The wife should

ask herself, "Since the marriage, how frequently have I helped my husband in matters of work and daily life?" If she could bear the responsibility of obeying her husband, as all parts of the body obey the head and as the church obeys Christ, and helping him in all things, how could he not love her?

The Secret of a Perfect Marriage

Each of us has his own family at birth.  We pass through youth, adulthood, and old age with them, until the day we die.  We spend at least half of every day interacting within our families and, particularly in old age and childhood, a significant part of our lives within these same groups.  If these families could all exist happily, it would be beneficial not only to the individuals within them, but also to the very fabric of society.

When we are children, we receive the love of our parents, and after we grow old we hope to receive the same love from our children and grandchildren.  The source of this love is the family itself.  The most important necessity in this world is not material wealth, but to love and be loved.  Even the most indigent of families can experience happiness if love exists therein.  Conversely, a family with money to spare will never find happiness if love is not present.  The Bible puts it succinctly: "Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fatted calf with hatred" (Prov 15:17).

The building of a family begins with marriage.  A man and woman united in matrimony begin family life; the husband and wife become the foundation of a home, which is the basic unit of a society.  Therefore, a happy marriage is not only the basic prerequisite for a happy family but also essential for an ordered society.

The secret of a happy marriage is to always attempt to fulfill one's own marital responsibifity without expecting one's spouse to do the same.  This is the so-called principle of "Plowing and cultivating but not questioning the harvest." When a person does not try to fulfill his or her own responsibility but instead wastes time in finding fault with the partner, the result, inevitably, is conflict which may in time even lead to separation.

There is an old adage that "Mutual understanding leads to harmony." In a marriage, both the husband and wife should strive for this kind of understanding, instead of trying to force the other to conform to their own wishes.  It is inevitable that each person has his own personality, ideas, and needs; hence, two different people can not get along if each demands that his own desires be fulfilled at the expense of the other.  If one person is never willing to submit to the other, how can he expect the other to constantly submit to him?

When conflict exists between husband and wife, often one or both parties begin to feel that the other is deliberately being contradictory out of spite.  This notion is ridiculous.  If a person continually insists on a viewpoint that is wrong, it is not a result of spite, but of ignorance - a lack of understanding of the truth.  In Jesus' hour of deepest agony on the cross, he still understood his enemies and asked his heavenly Father to forgive them.  He realized that their actions came from ignorance: “…they do not know what they do” (Lk23:34).  It was truly so.  If they had recognized that Jesus was the Messiah for whom they had been waiting, then they surely would not have nailed him on the cross.  For the same reason, if your spouse is being completely unreasonable about a matter in which he or she is wrong, how could this possibly be a deliberate attempt to hurt you?

The Lord loves peace and harmony, but Satan prefers anger and quarreling.  Therefore, he is the culprit behind every marital dispute and the enemy of every married couple.  If in a quarrel you hold the right point of view, your spouse is thus the tool of Satan, serviceable in his attempt to destroy your home and harm you both.  If you do not realize this, and blindly join with the devil in vanquishing your partner in an childish attempt to “win” the quarrel, what an irony this would be.  You would essentially be working together with evil to destroy your own home.  However, if you understood how Satan uses people thus, would you not instead sympathize with your spouse, forgive him/her, and immediately kneel down in prayer for his/her sake?  If you did this, your married life would continually be happy and free of trouble.  And finally, you would understand the true meaning of the phrases, “…and they became one flesh…” and “…happiness on earth as it is in heaven.”

Conclusion

The United States suffers from several serious sociological problems; these include sexual immorality, drug abuse, and a high crime rate.  The primary source of these problems can be traced back to an unhappy family life.  This problem results in divorce (including the separation of those who are unmarried but living together), which in its turn creates an psychologically unstable situation for the entire family, especially the children, who become caught up in an endless life of confusion and misery.  Often the only release from this is a turn to drugs or violence.  The only possible means by which to extricate this country from such a hopeless scenario is for every family to fear God, to follow the teaching of the Bible, and to re-establish the normal order- a husband who loves his wife, and wife who respects her husband (Eph5:33)

As members of the TrueChurch, we should set a good example for all by striving to maintain the proper family order.  At the very least we should be the “salt of the world”, to preserve the natural functioning of society.  Ultimately, though, we should try to be the “light of the world”, in order to lead those in darkness to receive the light of the gospel of Christ (Matt5:13-16; Lk 1:78,79; 2Cor 4:4). Only then may our wish in the Lord’s Prayer, “Thy kingdom come” (Matt 6:10) be realized, and this world truly “become the kingdom of our Lord and his Christ” (Rev 11:15)