God’s Way Is the Best
Way
Jinq Horng Teo—Singapore
RECEIVING GOD INTO MY LIFE
Hallelujah, in the name of the
Lord Jesus I bear testimony.
I was born in 1990 into a family
in Sabah that worshipped ancestors. In 2006, when
I was in high school, a schoolmate invited me to his charismatic church for one
Alpha Course, which is a series of introductory sessions on Christianity. After
a few weeks of listening to the message, I felt that I should become a
Christian because I was attracted to the message of love that this religion
preached. But there were so many different sets of teachings out there…. I felt
that a church should follow what the Bible says, so I decided to read the Bible
from cover to cover before choosing a church to attend.
Later, in November 2006, my
parents suggested that I go to church with my relatives, who happen to be
members of the True Jesus Church. At first, I was shocked by the mode of
prayer, but after some time I got used to it and even went to pray for the Holy
Spirit in front of the pulpit during Friday night services. I also learned that
truth is only found in the True Jesus Church, so I decided to
attend only this church. During a prayer session in a spiritual meeting in
spring 2008, I was praying for the Holy Spirit with particular earnestness.
Suddenly my body started vibrating. I felt as if someone else was moving me,
because the movement was very rhythmic and I would never go off balance. I had
no doubt that the Holy Spirit was touching me. Even so, I had not yet received
the Holy Spirit, as I was not speaking in tongues.
In August 2008, I went to Singapore to
further my studies. Soon after that, I really wanted to be baptized because I
became more and more aware of the fact that God loved me and was waiting for me
to accept His salvation grace. I wanted to be baptized in November that year but
my father did not agree to it, as he wanted me to wait until I reached the age
of twenty-one.
One night in January 2009, during
my evening prayer, I felt my tongue rolling. I immediately knew that I had
received the Holy Spirit and felt very thankful to God. A few nights later, I
had a dream, in which I saw a man who was tall and bright. I could not see His
face, but I knew anyway that it was the Lord. He then stretched out His hands
and hugged me. I immediately felt a warm sensation throughout my body.
Through these incidents, I truly
knew that God loved me. I asked my cousin to talk to my father about my baptism
but, again, my father wanted me to wait for some more time. Despite his answer,
I felt that I could no longer delay, so I was baptized in May 2009 in Singapore. My
mother especially came to Singapore
to witness my baptism. She also told me to evangelize to my father, siblings
and relatives. When I asked her, “What about you?” she merely replied, “Never
mind about me.”
LEARNING TO TRUST AND RELY ON GOD
By the grace of God, I joined the
church choir in September 2009. In December 2009, the church in Singapore held
an evangelistic meeting, during which the choir was scheduled to present a few
hymns. Shortly before the presentation that evening, I accidentally choked on a
fish bone during dinner. I tried to pray and then remove the bone by myself,
but failed. I didn’t want to see a doctor, because if I did, I may not have
gotten back to church on time to sing. So I told the brothers who were sitting
at the same table with me, and one of them suggested that everyone at that
table should pray together in silence. After our prayer, I struggled for a few
minutes—at first the bone seemed to have disappeared, but when I doubted, it
immediately came back. Eventually I told myself to submit to God in faith.
After that the fish bone just disappeared.
Although this incident may seem to be quite a small matter, it taught me to
have faith in God.
Between January and April 2010, I
had various illnesses. First of all, I had bouts of sore throat, which lasted
for about two to three months. After seeing the doctor, I was given an
antibiotic by the name of Amoxicillin. Taking that medication really helped, but
later on I realized that I was allergic to it, as it caused rashes throughout
my body. I then had to take antihistamines as well. Between the bouts of
soreness, I had an unexplained loss of voice, flu, and pain in my gums caused
by impacted wisdom teeth. Strangely, all these pains came one by one, never
occurring at the same time. I did not have sore throat when I lost my voice,
and I had flu only after I regained my voice. Only after all these did I have
my wisdom teeth removed.
During this period of time, even
the brethren around me felt that something was wrong with me. One day a brother
asked me, “What have you done? You seem to have a lot of trouble.” I didn’t
know the answer either. I started to think that God was chastising me and
thanked God for that, although I didn’t know what I was guilty of.
One day, I could no longer bear
the emotional burden that my constant illnesses gave me, so I prayed to God in
tears. After that prayer, I casually flipped open my Bible and arrived at Psalm
seventy-three. The following verse was particularly comforting: “My flesh and
my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Ps
73: 26).
I told myself that God would surely be able to remove my sufferings, since He
had removed the fish bone the year before. At the same time, however, I felt
that God wanted me to learn how to endure pain and receive strength from Him
while suffering. On that day, I truly realized that God is my refuge and
strength; He is the One I can rely upon at all times. I have since learned to
endure all sufferings with a joyful heart.
GRACE AND COMFORT IN TRIALS
In June 2010, I went back to Sabah to rest. When I first arrived, I asked God in my
daily prayers to allow me to rest well, but whenever I put forth this request, my spiritual tongue would not be fluent. So I asked
God, “What is the purpose of my return?” After pondering over this question for
a while, I remembered that I needed to preach to my family, although I had been
praying daily for their salvation. So I picked my mother to preach to, telling
her about differences between various religions and denominations, as she
seemed to be particularly interested in that. However, after some time, I
realized that her heart was still hardened towards the truth, as she kept asking
me the same questions without really listening to or accepting my answers. I
then stopped preaching; instead, I only continued to pray for my whole family’s
salvation.
During that same period, I
happened to look into the mirror while bathing, and saw a lump of the size of a
table tennis ball on my neck. I went for an autopsy, which reported a benign
tumor, but my family decided to have it removed anyway. When this decision was
made, I asked God if I could avoid surgery. But at the same time, I also asked
God to do whatever was necessary.
On August 04, 2010, I had the
first of two surgeries, both of which were done in Singapore. On August 20, my mother
and I went for a review with the surgeon. I felt happy that day, thinking that
God had prepared me to endure a surgery, and that the suffering was finally
over. Unexpectedly, however, the surgeon told us that I had papillary thyroid
carcinoma. We were extremely downcast, especially my mom, who could not even
speak properly upon hearing the news. It was then that she started to learn how
to pray. Miraculously, after a few days of prayer, my mother and I felt
comforted. Two weeks later, my mother was moved by the Holy Spirit and started
to vibrate in prayers; less than another two weeks later, she started praying
in tongues.
As for myself, I was dumbstruck
when I first knew that I had cancer. I had seen acquaintances suffering from
cancer at this age, but when it happened to me, I really had a hard time
accepting it. So when a local preacher knew of my condition, he encouraged me
with Romans 8:28: “And we know that all things work together for good to those
who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” I put this
verse in my heart, hoping for something good to come out of my illness. When my
mother received the Holy Spirit, I believed that all my sufferings were for
that purpose, and that I would be healed once God’s will had been executed.
On September 29, 2010, I underwent
a second surgery to remove the rest of my thyroid. Before that, I still asked
God if I could do without surgery, but I also asked for His will to be done.
The surgery was successful, but was followed by a lot of problems throughout
the following two months. First of all, I had unusually high blood pressure
after the surgery, and had to be put in a high-dependency ward for one night.
After two more nights of hospital stay, I was discharged.
A few days later, I was readmitted
for a serious wound infection, which required intravenous administration of
antibiotics. The doctor had wanted to use Amoxicillin for this purpose, but when
I told him that I am allergic to it, he used another antibiotic instead. During
this time, I also lost my voice. When I was again discharged after two days, I
had to carry a machine with me to remove excess pus within my body for almost
two weeks. During this period, I also had to frequent the hospital for wound
management because the wound had reopened and could not be re-stitched.
When the wound finally healed, the
doctor saw another small growth in my nasal cavity, so he plucked it out with
forceps and sent it for biopsy. Thank God, the biopsy returned negative, but
due to the way in which the growth had been removed, I bled profusely that
night, and was readmitted yet again into hospital. End of November 2010, I was
hospitalized for the last time, as I had to be isolated for a few days for a
dose of radioactive iodine treatment.
Thank God, I generally felt
peaceful throughout my illness. However, sometimes I wondered if I would really
survive the ordeal and would be given more time to further prepare myself for
heaven, as I didn’t feel ready to meet the Lord. One day these doubts and fears
became so strong that I almost broke down. It so happened that I looked at a
card that some brethren had handmade for me. One of the verses for
encouragement read, “A bruised reed He will not break…” (Isa 42:3a). Thank God,
these words really gave me comfort and hope.
In fact, the slightest bit of concern matters to the weak and sick. Hymns,
cards, a simple gift or even a short text message can go a long way in
motivating them to keep believing in God’s power.
GOD’S WAY IS THE BEST WAY
Throughout almost the entire
duration of my treatment, my mother stayed with me in Singapore to
take care of me. Whenever there was a service and whenever I wasn’t
hospitalized, I would take her to church to study the Bible. My mother used to
tell me not to be too engrossed in religion. But when I was first diagnosed
with a benign tumor, she started to believe in God’s power to protect me
because I am a Christian. Later on, when she learned that I had cancer, she
proactively asked me how she should pray to God, saying that she would pray for
me. Once she started to pray, she felt a sense of peace in her heart and truly
began to believe that God exists. Finally, when she received the Holy Spirit,
she was touched by God’s love. Thank God, my mother was baptized just before my
last admission to the hospital in November 2010.
In early 2011, I resumed my
studies in Singapore.
A friend told me that he had already seen a lump in my neck around March or
April 2010. Initially I thought, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier…” but later
on, I understood that God’s time had not yet come. If I had discovered my
illness at that time, I would not have been prepared to accept it; so God
didn’t let me know until I was ready. This was indeed God’s plan.
In July 2011, I went for another
checkup. The results showed that all cancer cells had been eliminated. Now, I
only have to consistently take medicine and do periodic checkups.
I
truly thank God for guiding me and preparing me for these trials. First, He
allowed me to understand that all things are possible with Him. Then, He taught
me how to take pain, preparing me for the increasing pain and suffering. He also
allowed me to know what I’m allergic to, so as to reduce my suffering after
surgery. Most importantly, however, He brought my mother into His fold.
In conclusion, all the sufferings
that I went through have shown me that God’s way is the best way. Although
things may not look easy or desirable at first sight, all things will turn out
well if we submit to God and let Him decide what is best for us. He will also
comfort and guide us throughout the process, and allow us to witness His
beautiful will unfolding through our sufferings.
May all glory be given unto the
Lord.
