My
ambition has always been to be a music artiste. I single-mindedly pursued this
goal until I felt I was sufficiently qualified to join the fraternity of
artistes I have longed to be part of. Yet at the age of twenty, having embarked
upon my chosen course in life, I began to experience the stirrings of
dissatisfaction. I began to think that perhaps there was something beyond the
mundane - a meaning to my existence. I recalled the past years of good fortune
and health. Surely there had to be a source. But who or what was it? Was it the
power of nature? Or the mysterious source of the universe? Was it a philosophy
of life? Or the power of man's mind? I searched for
this source, and eventually came to the knowledge that this source is the one
true God.
The next
thing that confronted me was the multiple and perplexing explanations about
God. I believed that there was only one God who is intangible. I had the
overwhelming urge to seek this divine being, to find out who he is, and to draw
near to him. After a period of searching I found him in Jesus. I went to a church
and there I was baptized.
At the
age of twenty-three, at Cologne, Germany, a friend introduced me to the True
Jesus Church. I was invited to join their winter spiritual convocation. I discovered
then that the teachings of the True Jesus Church were in complete accordance
with the Bible. I began to thirst for the truth and would often travel some
three hours each Sabbath to join the brothers and sisters for worship.
After a
year of studying the truth, I found that one could experience God personally
and draw near to him. He was to me a friend and a source of support. More
importantly, I came to realize that the baptism I had undergone did not conform
to the Bible's teachings and was therefore ineffective. However, my pride made
it hard for me to come to terms with this major error. I found it difficult to
acknowledge that I needed to be baptized again. I also found the prospect of
keeping the commandments of God quite daunting, especially since I had not yet
received the Holy Spirit. I was concerned that after committing myself to
Christ through this baptism I would lose all the freedom I had. Such thoughts
ran through my mind, preventing me from becoming a true Christian according to
God's will.
On new year's day of 1986, I attended a spiritual convocation
in Stuttgart, Germany. At the end of the day's seminar, a group of us thirsting
after the in-filling of the Holy Spirit, stayed behind to pray. In that first prayer
I asked God whether I ought to be baptized. God answered me in a wonderful way.
I was
moved by the Holy Spirit and saw a vision in that prayer. I saw a man wearing a
robe and Roman sandals, seated on a rock about a metre
away. Although his face was indistinct I perceived that he had an aura of peace
and kindness about him. Below him shone a soft light. I knew instantly that
this was the Lord Jesus! Overwhelmed with excitement, I requested that others
might see this vision too, but he merely smiled. I then told him, "Lord,
this heavenly path is too difficult for me to walk. You have to help me to
finish it. I am too weak, but if you have indeed chosen me, then please help me
to walk on this path." The Lord continued to smile without saying a word.
I had a feeling of peace and intimacy with him. Suddenly, I saw myself as a
five year-old child dancing and singing in front of him. His smile was still
there. Then I saw myself as an adult again, sharing with Him the problems
encountered on my journey of faith, and discussing with him doctrinal questions.
All the while, he listened, still with that gentle smile on his face.
Just then
a bell rang, signalling the end of the prayer. I was
so moved by the Holy Spirit throughout the prayer that my eyes were swollen by
the tears I shed. When a deacon asked me what happened during the prayer, I took
the opportunity to relate the vision to all who were present. Then two deacons
who had laid hands on me confirmed that I had received the Holy Spirit. They
praised and thanked God for His grace.
For the
sake of those who had not yet received the Holy Spirit, we decided to have
another prayer.
Immediately
after I knelt down and said, "In the Name of the Lord Jesus I pray,"
the vision continued. The Lord Jesus took my hand and led me to a river. Pointing
to the water, he said, "My child, you must be baptized." At that
point, the scene changed. I saw Him nailed to the cross wearing a crown of
thorns. His body was bruised and clad with blood, and His head was bowed. He
appeared to be in excruciating pain. Beneath the cross, several women were
mourning for Him. I was among them. A Roman soldier with a spear in his hand, approached the Lord. When he forcefully pierced His
side, I yelled bitterly, "No! No!" I saw blood and water flowing from
His body. As I cried, I heard the voice of Jesus saying, "My child, do not
grieve. You must be baptized." I could not bear to watch anymore the scene
before me. Jesus died this cruel death for my sake. I felt the weight of my
sins and broke into a sombre spiritual song until the
bell rang again. I stopped praying, but was unable to stem the flow of tears.
Later, I
shared the vision with others. Many were moved to tears. I had great admiration
for the depth of their love for the Lord. I had seen Him personally,
they only heard my testimony and yet were so moved.
The
following morning, during another prayer, I saw another vision. This time I saw
an empty cross. Beneath it lay a body wrapped in linen
cloth. I felt as if a member of my own family had passed away. I wept and mourned.
Through
these visions, I received God's answer. Unworthy as I am, the Lord revealed Himself
to me through His grace and mercy. I thank God that despite my pride, he did
not forsake me.
During a
spiritual convocation in Heidelberg on 20 April 1986, I was baptized in the
Name of the Lord Jesus in manner prescribed by the Bible. Now I pray that God
will continue to lead me so that I may complete the heavenly path.
W.I.C.
Cologne