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 (Manna 96: Spiritual Nurture: Prayer)
Family: A Blessed Family
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KC Tsai—Toronto, Canada

Blessed is every one who fears the LORD,
Who walks in His ways.
When you eat the labor of your hands,
You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you.
Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine
In the very heart of your house,
Your children like olive plants
All around your table.
Behold, thus shall the man be blessed
Who fears the LORD. (Ps 128:1–4)

With references to "your wife" and "your children," this psalm is addressed to husbands and fathers. In it, we see the promise of a household blessed by God, but it will be blessed only if the head of the house—the husband—fears God. If he fears God with a sincere and upright heart, obeying God's instructions, he can enjoy the fruits of his labor. All that he plants, he shall harvest. There will be no lack of sunshine or rain, no natural or man-made disasters, and no enemies to come and plunder his crops. He will work hard and enjoy the anticipated fruits of his labor. Hence, the duty of a husband and father is not only to work diligently but, more importantly, to fear God and keep His commandments, which is man's all (Eccl 12:13).

The wife's role in this blessed household is to be like a fruitful vine at the very heart of the house. A vine is not strong enough to be used in construction. It is a climbing plant whose purpose is to bear grapes abundantly. To do so, it needs support. One aspect of a wife being a fruitful vine is giving birth to children. But it can also refer to the wife bearing the fruit of the Spirit and fruits of love at home. This fills the home with love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal 5:22–23). These spiritual virtues can support a family, allowing her husband and children to enjoy the love and warmth of home life. If a wife is like a fruitful vine, it means there is support. She can rely on the support of her husband and, more importantly, by faith, she relies on God to bear these fruits of righteousness.

Finally, the children in this family will be like olive plants all around the table. This means having many children by our side. Being like olive plants means that these children are young, full of vigor and vitality, and will grow up to be mature adults. The future of this family is bright and full of hope. As the Scriptures say:

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one's youth.
Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate. (Ps 127:3–5)

A BLESSED MARRIAGE

A blessed family begins with a husband-wife relationship that aligns with the will of God. Such a marriage is built on selfless love for each other and a sense of shared goals and values. They honor their parents according to the teachings of the Bible, obeying and encouraging them, comforting and caring for them. They raise their children in the Lord, nurturing their physical and mental health so they can mature spiritually and resolve to serve the Lord and His church all their lives.

Husbands and wives are heirs together of the grace of life, as Peter says:

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Pet 3:7)

In the original text, the possessive pronoun "your" in "your prayers" is plural, addressing both husband and wife—that their united prayers may be unhindered and can directly reach God. Spouses are heirs together of the grace of life, which refers to eternal life. Receiving eternal life is a great grace and a common goal the couple should pursue. They need to strive together, constantly reminding and exhorting each other to grow in faith together toward maturity.

THOSE WHO ARE HUSBANDS

In the above verse, Peter tells husbands to dwell with their wives with understanding. This message is echoed in Ephesians:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her. …So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. (Eph 5:25, 28)

For husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, for whom He gave up His own life, considerable effort is required. They must always be aware of the need to sacrifice, starting from the daily chores. Only when husbands respect and honor their wives as the weaker vessels can the husband-wife relationship begin to glorify the Lord.      

In today's self-centered and selfish society, it is not easy to constantly love one's other half with selfless love. It begins with simple, considerate actions such as squeezing the toothpaste from the end of the tube, dividing the housework fairly, throwing dirty socks into the laundry basket instead of leaving them lying around, considering the other's preferences when cooking, dealing with feelings of jealousy, and so on. Some couples treat these as major issues and argue incessantly, while those with wisdom see these as trivial daily matters and handle them calmly. To give a few simple and subtle examples: During meals, does the husband subconsciously take the less desirable pieces of food for himself and give the better portion to his wife? When the wife is feeling down or in a bad mood, can he see her as the more fragile vessel and accompany her through these low points with compassion?

Essentially, husbands gradually learn and understand how to love their wives with Christ-like love and how to love her as his own body through the experience of dwelling together with her daily.

THOSE WHO ARE WIVES

In the same passage, there are also teachings for wives:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. (Eph 5:22–24)

The church's submission to Christ is natural and unconditional. However, it is not easy for wives to submit to husbands in this manner because, unlike Christ, no husband is perfect. They all have flaws and make mistakes. However, the biblical teaching is for wives to submit to their husbands (1 Pet 3:1–6). If a wife is submissive to her husband in all things, she is a woman who can submit to the Lord and will be blessed as a result. Through her, the Lord will bestow blessings upon the whole family.

God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him" (Gen 2:18). God's will when creating woman was so man would not be alone and would have a "helper." Having a companion to walk with and carry out our plans with in life alleviates the burden of dealing with everything alone. Indeed, even cooking a solo meal when living alone can be challenging, and what makes it worse is not experiencing the joy and warmth that comes from sharing the meal with others.

The principle behind the wife's submission to her husband is to help him. This help goes beyond being supportive of his career and at home. It involves giving guidance when her husband deviates in faith or character, providing positive biblical advice when important decisions arise, working together to carry out those decisions, and making adjustments when necessary.

THOSE WHO ARE CHILDREN

Today, our children are easily ensnared by secular trends, just as we are. They find it difficult to escape the influence of popular social media movements and extreme ideologies. The morality and value systems of today's society are constantly changing: marriage is being redefined, gender identity has become negotiable, violent protests have become tools for expressing personal grievances, and so on. The pressure to adopt secular values is similar to the time when God's people were taken captive to Babylon:

And the king appointed for them a daily provision of the king's delicacies and of the wine which he drank, and three years of training for them, so that at the end of that time they might serve before the king. Now from among those of the sons of Judah were Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. To them the chief of the eunuchs gave names: he gave Daniel the name Belteshazzar; to Hananiah, Shadrach; to Mishael, Meshach; and to Azariah, Abed-Nego. (Dan 1:5–7)

When Daniel and his three friends were captured, they found themselves in an environment full of evil. Their names were changed, they had to learn and use the language of the Chaldeans, and they were tempted with the king's food and wine daily. Their original names, which were related to God and their faith, were replaced with names associated with Babylonian idols or customs. They faced the crisis of being assimilated and losing their identity as the chosen people.

They were overseen by the chief eunuch for three years, during which they had no choice but to undergo training in the language and literature of the Chaldeans. However, to maintain their purity before God, they refused the temptation of the king's food and resisted the erosion of their identity by these foreign customs. They gave up their daily diet and chose to eat vegetables and drink water instead. As a result, God was with them, preserving their lives and strengthening their faith.

God wants those who belong to Him to preserve their holiness. In His law, He says:

"And you shall be holy to Me, for I the LORD am holy, and have separated you from the peoples, that you should be Mine." (Lev 20:26)

To be God's people, we must be sanctified by God's truth (Jn 17:17) and be separated from the world:

"Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren, especially concerning the day you stood before the LORD your God in Horeb, when the LORD said to me, 'Gather the people to Me, and I will let them hear My words, that they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.' " (Deut 4:9–10)

God commands His people to teach His word to their children and grandchildren so they may fear God "all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children." The Bible conveys God's will: the knowledge and fear of God should not only be kept within one's own heart but also passed on to one's children.

Many youths today are almost bound by their smartphones, unable to detach themselves from social media, online games, and endless information streams. Some are even misled to the point of self-harm, troublemaking, or falling into despair and depression. They need someone to guide them out of the virtual world, to learn how to discern between authenticity and self-promotion, and to socialize with friends who have spiritual integrity and wisdom within the Christian community. They need to break free from the bondage of the internet, learn to fear God, and stay away from evil.

What brings parents the greatest comfort is seeing their children fear God. Many parents, in their pursuit of success and personal fulfillment, labor tirelessly throughout their lives, dedicating themselves to work and careers. However, when they look back in old age, they realize that a lack of guidance from God's divine word has led their children to focus solely on academic and professional pursuits, neglecting the grace and teachings of the Lord. As a result, their children stumble on their faith journey and leave the church. It is with the most heart-wrenching regret that parents see their children lose their salvation and stray from the path that leads to eternal life. In this generation where we are all captive, parents cannot compromise in this battle to rescue our children. We must not delay in preparing a solid environment of faith for them, just as the Lord instructed the people through Moses:

"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." (Deut 6:4–9)

God required His people to create a complete environment of faith, where they would constantly engage with God's word, provide a solid religious education, and pass on the faith to their children. The word of God is settled in heaven forever and never changes. We can be certain that He still requires believers today to:

  • Love God with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our strength.
  • Write the words of the Bible on our hearts and teach them diligently to our children.
  • Discuss the word of God when we are at home and when we are outside.
  • Remind our children about the grace and promises of the Lord at all times so that they can recall God's word and God's will no matter what situation they are in.

This is how we can enjoy the blessings of a Christ-centered family.

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Author: KC Tsai
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