Taking the "I" Out of Service

Bianca Chong—Essex, UK

In the name of Jesus, I testify. While studying for my degree in my early twenties, I was offered a three-month internship in London. During those few months, by God's grace, my faith grew exponentially and I learned important lessons about serving God.

HIDING MY TALENTS

I started learning to play the piano when I was around ten. Having started later than my peers, I always felt inadequate in comparison. I soon developed a fear of playing the piano in front of others and kept it secret for many years.

Over the years, as I progressed through the piano grades, church members encouraged me to play for hymnal sessions or religious education lessons. I declined every time and encouraged other brethren to play instead, as I felt they were more talented. I feared the embarrassment of playing incorrectly and was ashamed of my skill level compared to others who could play more confidently. Since there were many gifted members at my local church in Newcastle, I did not feel the need to serve God in this particular holy work.

Eventually, brethren stopped asking me, and I diverted the musical abilities God had given me to composing music and choir leading. Using my talents in other ways, I would not need to play the piano. I thought this would still please God as I was not wasting my talents but serving Him the way I wanted to without challenging myself too greatly. In hindsight, this did not address me not wanting to submit to God and His will, which only lingered and grew inside my heart.

Serving in London Central

When I moved to London for my three-month internship, I attended the church in London Central. As there were fewer members in London than in Newcastle,  I noticed that most members had multiple roles and responsibilities, resulting in a shortfall of workers when they had to prioritize other duties.

I joined the cleaning and cooking groups, but when asked to play the piano for service, I declined. Although I felt a slight pang of guilt from knowing there was a lack of pianists, I was still unwilling to take up this church work.

GOD'S TEACHING ON THE WAY TO NEWCASTLE

My cousin and a brother from London organized a weekend road trip to Newcastle, so I joined them to give my family a surprise visit. During the car journey, I rested my eyes while half-listening to a sermon on the car speakers. Miraculously, it seemed as if the sermon leader was speaking directly to me.

The sermon leader spoke about our mindset and attitude in service—how we focus on humility but downplay submission to God when we serve. Serving God with both humility and submission is important. These are two different yet interlinked attributes: humility is to be humble, without pride, giving all the glory to God; submission is surrendering ourselves before God, being obedient, and allowing Him to use us as He wills (Phil 2:8). Ultimately, the focus of our service is solely on God and not on ourselves.

Hearing this biblical truth, I realized the error of my thinking. My skewed understanding of humility and lack of submission meant I was not allowing God to lead me. I only focused on my will and what I thought was best, not on God and His will. I quickly understood what I needed to put into prayer and repent from. I truly thank God for this timely lesson.

GOD'S ONE-TO-ONE PRACTICAL LESSON

I returned to London carrying this teaching in my heart and reflecting deeply on my service to God. During the pre-service prayer on the following Sabbath, I prayed that if it was God's will, to please grant me another opportunity to play the piano for Him. I knew it was time to overcome my fears and submit to God.

Then the bell rang, signaling the end of prayer. While I was getting up from my knees, the sister beside me asked if I wanted to play for the Bible study session, which would start in a few minutes, instead of her. Immediately, I knew that God had answered my prayers! He gave me this opportunity to learn to serve Him with humility and submission. I accepted the sister's offer and went to sit at the piano. Despite not having time to practice, what little confidence I had grew when the Bible study leader chose a simple hymn that I could sight-read.

As I played the hymn, doubts, and fears started creeping into my mind again. After playing one flat note, making a mistake, and then another, all I could think of was how terribly I was playing. The anxiety within was growing. My hands were sweating, my legs shaking, my confidence plummeting. Just when I was about to have a panic attack, I pleaded to God in my heart: God, please help me!

Instantly, the sound of the piano was drowned out like I was playing the hymn underwater. It happened so suddenly after my silent prayer. Even though I was looking down at my fingers pressing the keys, the sound of the piano was murky and unclear. No matter which notes I played or how hard I pressed the keys, the sound was unusual and out of focus. Instead, my ears automatically tuned into the singing of the congregation instead of my own playing. Their praises were louder and clearer than ever before. It was like someone had adjusted the volume control in my ears by lowering the sound of the piano to a minimum while raising the voices of the congregation.

My heart leaped with thanksgiving to God! I knew exactly what God was teaching me: He was telling me to focus on Him, reminding me that I was not serving alone but with the congregation and God.

By the end of the hymn, peace and joy filled my entire being. I could not wait to share this miracle and God's teaching with my spiritual brothers and sisters. Truly, thank God.

CONFIDENCE IN GOD

When we step into a new role or start doing church work that we are inexperienced in, we may feel daunted by the unknown and struggle with our confidence. But when our lack of confidence is left alone to fester, it hinders our faith and can even lead to unwillingness to serve God altogether.

In some ways, this crisis of confidence masquerades itself as humility when, ironically, the root problem is pride. This warped sense of humility can manifest in multiple ways. We may find ourselves quickly discouraging ourselves when asked to serve: I'm not good enough to do it. This self-doubt leads to unwillingness, and we may eventually push away God-given opportunities to serve Him. We may even belittle our talents and skills compared to others, thinking, Other people can do it better and quicker than me, so why bother?

But have we considered the One who has given us these gifts and opportunities to serve in the first place? When we focus on our lack of confidence or talent, we fail to see that it reveals our lack of confidence in God. Our distorted understanding of humility negatively impacts the way we view ourselves as God's vessels and damages our zeal to serve Him, so we may end up disobeying and defying God's will.

For if there is first a willing mind, it is accepted according to what one has, and not according to what he does not have. (2 Cor 8:12).

Instead of looking at what we lack, we should be grateful for what God has given us. No matter how much or how little we have been blessed with, we must have faith that it can be useful to the Master, if we are first pure and willing to offer, just like the widow of Zarephath with the handful of flour and the little jar of oil (1 Kgs 17:12–16).

Serving God may not always be comfortable or easy, and we must not think that we must perfect our talents and skills before serving. This notion comes from our self-serving desire to be "perfect" in our own eyes. But God does not require "perfection" according to our standards. What He accepts is our willingness to give what we already have back to Him, our obedience in doing the good works He has prepared for each of us, and our submission to the Spirit, who is working with us to fulfill His will (1 Cor 12:11).

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. (Eph 2:10)

CONCLUSION

When serving God, our focus is on Him and not on ourselves. Our heart must entwine humility and submission to God to create the right mindset so that He will accept our offerings. We must humbly accept the talents and opportunities God has given us,  have a willing mind to offer what He desires of us, and submit to Him who faithfully works through us to do His work and glorify God.

We serve with God and for God. Let us all learn to take the "I" out of our service.

May all glory be unto His name. Amen!