CAST ALL YOUR CARE UPON HIM
Jason Hsu — Baldwin
Park, California, USA
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty
hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him,
for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil
walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. (1 Peter 5:6-8)
Apostle Peter encourages us to
cast all our care upon God because He cares for us.
In our everyday lives, we often
forget that our lives are upheld and sustained because of the Lord’s care. If
the Lord were to take away His hand from the universe, even for a moment, the
universe itself could not stand (Heb 1:3).
However, sometimes our eyes are
blinded to this care and we need God to remind us that it is He who upholds all
things in this universe—not just the sun, moon, and stars—but us, too (Ps
I will share two spiritual
experiences that reveal important lessons the Lord has taught me. Both
experiences have been the result of the weakness of the flesh; yet, they have
also been a testament to the greatness of God’s grace.
In these last days before Christ
returns, we must be even more watchful, for Satan knows His time is near. So we
must humble ourselves. Be sober, be vigilant, so that we may overcome to the end
My hope is that my experiences can
serve to warn and encourage, but, most of all, impress upon you the vast extent
of God’s care for us. God’s care and providence go far beyond our limited human
understanding; His love is unimaginable.
I will first share an old
spiritual experience that taught me the importance of how our thinking impacts
the successful completion of our journey to God’s kingdom.
Many years ago, shortly after I
believed in Christ, I would do my utmost to continue in my daily spiritual
pursuit of God. I would pray hours, not minutes, every day. I would read the
Bible by books and not chapters.
I was young back then, but I did
my utmost to transform my life radically for the Lord. But then I came to a low
point in my faith.
During that time, I faced
persecution from my own family and friends about my faith and spiritual
The persecution I faced was not
the type where I was threatened with bodily injury or death; rather, it was an
emotional and spiritual persecution, which can be the most difficult type to
It is difficult to constantly hear
things like, “Why do you pray so much?” “What’s wrong with you?” “You’re
strange!” “You’re no fun to be around anymore. Bye.” Soon, you begin to feel as
if your life took a seriously wrong turn, even though your heart knows that
that is not the truth.
The Bottomless Pit
Faced with this situation as a
young believer, I became very depressed one night. As I sat on the edge of the
bed, ready to go to sleep, I thought to myself, “Wow! It’s hard to be a
Christian.” I was ready to give up.
Then I had another thought:
“Maybe hell is not that bad. How bad could it be?” Just as I thought this, I
let myself fall back onto my bed, but instead of hitting my pillow I fell in!
Was I transported to another
dimension physically? Probably not. Spiritually, however, I felt as if I was
falling into a deep hole. I share my experience with you to let you know that
you don’t want to be where I was at that moment.
For some reason or other, I had a
good idea where I was. I was in the bottomless pit as recorded in the book of
What does it feel like to fall
down a bottomless pit?
It is hard to describe the
feeling—the complete loneliness, darkness, and confusion you feel—as you
descend into a dark and bottomless abyss. I can only imagine that it’s what the
prophet Jonah experienced as he was cast off the ship and down into the raging
sea (Jon 1:15; 2:3).
Even worse is to descend down
into the darkness knowing full well there is no bottom to end your plight.
As I was freefalling down this
dark pit, I felt like I was spinning out of control. I also felt cold and evil
spirits—demons—running through and around my body. When the evil spirits went
through me, I sensed their pain and heard their silent cries.
These cold spirits continued to
fly around and encircle my body as I spiraled downwards. Finally, I sensed an
extremely deep darkness in that pit. Such darkness cannot be compared to any
earthly darkness. It was a deep spiritual darkness that smothers you to the
point where you feel as if you are suffocating.
As I was falling, I remembered a
testimony from a brother in Africa who saw a
vision of the judgment day during his prayer. In his prayer, the brother saw
himself waiting in a line of thousands of people. Everybody was waiting for
their turn before the judgment throne of God.
As he got closer to the throne,
the brother saw the Lord Jesus sitting on His throne with eyes like flames of
fire (Rev 1:14).
Surrounding the throne was a
multitude of angels. Then the brother observed that when a person was found
worthy of God’s salvation, all the angels would sing loudly, and the person was
warmly welcomed into God’s kingdom.
But if the angels did not sing,
then the person was escorted by two angels, one at each arm, to a large pit.
The brother saw these damned souls kicking and screaming as they were escorted
to the bottomless pit and forcefully thrown in.
As I was reflecting on this
brother’s testimony and comparing it to my own situation in the abyss, I
realized that I wasn’t going to get out of that pit without God’s help. So I
began to softly say “Hallelujah” and repent for my wrong thinking.
I told God at that time, “I don’t
want this. Lord, save me.” Suddenly, I felt as if God’s hand took my spirit and
lifted me back to the present world. I was so thankful to be back in my room
that I kept praising God.
From that time on, I realized
that I could never ever give up on my spiritual life—no matter how difficult
LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES
The second spiritual experience I
received came with a dream and a vision, as a result of looking for love in all
the wrong places.
We often search for love on our
own terms and outside the Lord’s blessing. Yet, Song of Solomon 2:7 teaches us
not to stir up or awaken love until it pleases. Many brothers and sisters in
the church are looking for love, and it often seems difficult, if not
impossible, to find.
Love is a blessing and gift from
God; yet, love is not something we should rush to awaken before its proper
time. Without God’s blessing, no one will find their true love.
Love is also God’s highest
calling. To find a kindred spirit with whom to share God’s highest calling is a
beautiful and honorable thing in His sight. But as we look for such a person,
we are often faced with difficult decisions and situations among the numerous
other hurdles we may encounter.
Fleshly desires are among the
toughest obstacles we meet as we explore relationships with the opposite sex.
Lustful thoughts and acts, however, do not produce the righteousness of God or
help us establish a true loving relationship.
Instead, acts of lust deteriorate
the love relationship between a man and a woman that God intended to be a
source of blessing and joy between a husband and wife.
The Path of Indulging the Flesh
Some time ago, while unvigilant
in my own exploration of love, I fell into the trap of lust. Because I was
unwatchful in my spiritual cultivation, I was unable to resist the temptations
of the flesh. James 1:13, 14 says:
Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted
by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt
anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires
The lustful desires of our flesh,
even if not fornication or adultery, are not desires God wants us to indulge
Jesus warned us even to take care
of how we think about the opposite sex when we look, saying, “But I say to you
that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery
with her in his heart” (Mt 5:28).
If we must be wary of even our
thoughts, how much more our actions, which proceed from our thoughts?
Unbelievers cannot understand the
spiritual ramifications of their thoughts or acts of lust. To them, lust is a
natural inclination that should be indulged upon like a hungry man at an
all-you-can-eat buffet (cf. Mt 4:2ff).
Why would you deny food to a
hungry man or woman? But Romans 8:6 warns us, “[T]o be carnally minded is
death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.”
As I sinned against the Lord
through the desires of my flesh, I knew with “head knowledge” that what I was
doing was wrong; I even knew that my faith was weak at that time and that I
should be more careful.
Yet, I tested God for my own
personal reasons. Because of the confidence I had in the flesh (Phil 3:3), I
was so confident that I had things under control that I hadn’t realized I had
already fallen into sin.
Learning the Difficult Lessons
Through life’s experience and
mistakes, I have learned difficult but important lessons from the Lord.
Sometimes, God’s teachings are
difficult to swallow, and some of God’s prophesies are difficult to speak (Rev
10:9-11). But God’s word and truth must always be taken, eaten, and revealed—even
in times of darkness.
With love, God brings us out of
the darkness and teaches us the difficult lessons—lessons that we may not want
to learn or lessons that we think we already know.
1 Corinthians 10:12, 13 teaches:
Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed
lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man;
but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are
able, but with temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be
able to bear it.
I read these verses many times in
the past, but sometimes only life’s lessons can teach you the meaning.
To bear our sins is a heavy
burden. Only God knows the way of escape from temptation. After I sinned
against God, I thought to myself, “Why doesn’t God punish me?” I was waiting
and praying for a sign from God to show me clearly the direction I should take.
As odd as it sounds, I was
actually eagerly awaiting God’s judgment upon me. I almost wanted God to take
away my Holy Spirit or do something so that I could “wake up” from my spiritual
slumber. But the sign from God never came…until one night.
THE “BLACK CARD” DREAM
Like any sleep, spiritual slumber
brings a temporary comfort to the flesh. And on the night God’s sign finally
came, I was sleeping soundly.
I had an unusual dream that night,
and I do not often have dreams. In my dream, I saw myself in a room with my
father. I had in my possession a black card, but I hid the card in a Bible I
Somehow I knew that the black card
possessed a great and evil power, so I hid the card to keep it from affecting
others. I also knew that I wanted to—and had to—destroy the card. What I didn’t
realize, until later, was how much my dream sounded like a movie plot.
I did not want anybody to see or
take the black card, mostly because I wanted to destroy it. So I hid it. For
some reason, I understood whoever possessed that card would become the ultimate
evil—the anti-Christ. So I felt such an urgency to keep the card, but at the
same time, I wanted to destroy it.
Sitting in the room with my
father, my father began asking me for my Bible. I remember thinking how odd it
was that my father was asking me for the Bible. For those who know my father,
he would never read the Bible.
But I started to give my father an
excuse because I did not want to give him the Bible. I knew that my father, an
unbeliever, did not really want the Bible. What my father really wanted was the
black card hidden in my Bible.
Afterward, I saw myself riding in
a new car with my sister and her friend, who was boasting about his new car. As
we stopped the car and chatted, I began to sense that my sister and her friend
were being drawn to the black card that was inside my Bible.
I rushed to get out of the car
because I did not want to be trapped in the backseat of the car. As we all got
out, I was already wary of both my sister and her friend.
Suddenly the two of them lunged at
me for my Bible. Afraid for both my life and theirs, I fled away. I knew I had
to get out of there.
VISION OF THE SPIRITUAL WAR
Instantly, I saw a vision of many
angels flying before me. There were so many angels that I could not count them
all. The angels were gathered on two sides and heading towards one another at
great speed and force.
I have never seen such a thing
before, but I knew that one group of angels represented the good and the other
side the evil.
As the angels sped towards each
other, they clashed with such great force that a powerful shockwave ensued. I
then saw the beginnings of a fierce spiritual war being waged. I knew that this
war was the same type of spiritual war described in Revelation 12:7, 8.
There was a difference however: in
Revelation 12:7, 8, the archangel Michael and his angels prevailed, but, in my
vision, the evil angels were winning. At that moment, my heart was shaken
I came to full consciousness in
the dark room. I realized this was no longer a vision but real life.
Immediately, I felt an evil presence fast approaching from my right side. Satan
was coming and approaching fast.
I was in a panic at that time
because I knew I did not have much time. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that
scared before in my life.
I quickly got up on my knees and
started to pray in the Spirit. As I was praying, I began to feel some claws
grasp my throat. And a very sharp nail from one of the claws was pressing right
into my Adam’s apple.
The claw was trying to pierce
through me as if to kill me, but something was holding it back. At the same
time, I was trying to say, “Hallelujah.” But I could barely speak with the
claws around my throat and that nail pressing upon my Adam’s apple with a great
force behind it.
I felt the great power within the
hand of that nail. But I continued to marvel about why the nail could not
pierce through me.
GOD’S SAVING HAND AND MESSAGE
As the sharp nail was forcefully
pressing and pressing into my neck, I continued to wonder why the nail could
not go through. I finally realized that God was protecting me. But I had felt
so far from God in those days that I then began wondering why God would still
love and protect me.
Suddenly, I felt God’s strong
presence come upon me, and I began to pray in the fullness of the Spirit. God
impressed upon me two important messages during that prayer, which I share with
First, God impressed upon me that
we cannot survive or even stand without His grace and loving protection. I knew
that truth before, but I did not really understand it. But during that prayer,
God opened up the eyes of my heart anew, and I understood that truth crystal
clear. It was God’s grace that kept me alive and upheld me throughout my sin
We know many truths with “head
knowledge,” but until God reveals them to our hearts and in the spirit, we
often cannot fully understand His truths.
The truth that God alone can
uphold and protect us against evil is not new or revolutionary; rather, it is a
petition found even in the Lord’s prayer: “And do not lead us into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one” (Mt 6:13).
The second message God delivered
to me was this: “You must testify about your experience for Me—for the sake of
other brothers and sisters.” As many thoughts began to race through my mind, I
asked God, “Do I have to?” God did not have to answer with a loud thundering
voice, for He had already placed the answer in my heart.
But I delayed sharing it and,
perhaps, tried to forget it. For this sin, I must again repent to the Lord and
apologize to the people whom God loves. Though I tried to forget, God would not
let me forget.
So I told God that I would write
it out, which I have now done. And so I share this message with you.
For there is nothing covered that will not be
revealed, and hidden that will not be known. Whatever I tell you in the dark,
speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops. And
do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear
Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. (Mt 10:26-28; cf. Eccl
After my experience, I briefly
wondered about why the Lord was so insistent upon my testimony.
I understood two things: (1) God
wanted to teach me a humility I had forgotten and that there is no such thing
as selfish pride in His kingdom; and (2) God revealed to me that there are
other brothers and sisters in the same sin or worse.
I encourage those brothers and
sisters to take my experience to heart and quickly turn back to the Lord and
I end as I began, with this
encouragement: cast your care upon the Lord for He cares for you. All of us, at
times, will face the difficulties of life’s pressures. All of us will meet with
the anxieties of life’s decisions. But let us meet them with the Lord. It is
not that He doesn’t care; it’s that we haven’t realized how much He does.
Through His care, God will deliver
us into His kingdom.
I pray that the Lord will use my
witness as He intends. May all the glory and honor be to the King of glory, who
alone is worthy of our honor and praise. Amen.
Cast your burden on the Lord,
And He will sustain you;
He shall never permit the righteous to be moved. (Ps 55:22)
recounts two experiences in His life where God woke him up from going down the
wrong path. The Lord showed him the darkness of losing God and warned him,
through a vision and a dream, to turn from his wrongdoings.
spiritually spiraling to the bottom and God didn’t seem to care. I even wished
that I could experience some kind of punishment from Him to wake me up, but I
didn’t realize it would come in a dream.