MY HEAVENLY FATHER FOUND ME
Alice Jung — El Monte, California,
I will never forget
the day the Holy Spirit came into my life. It was the summer of 1986, and the
end of my second year in college. I never thought I would go to New
York City by myself, much less to a church. Yet, there
I was, in True Jesus Church at Queens, New
At that time, I
lived in a small college town in central Texas.
My family had been atheists, except for my mom, who had just begun a new
interest in the True Jesus Church. With my mom’s encouragement, I had merely
two encounters with the church prior to my trip to Queens.
I was not
comfortable with the way people prayed at the church. Yet, these first contacts
with the church led me to wonder about this God that they preached. I was
impressed by how they always used the Bible as their reference to answer all my
questions. I also had felt warmth during one of my prayers.
However, it took a
miracle for me to actually want to go to New York
to attend a special spiritual event there. Going to attend a spiritual convocation,
where the entire day is packed with prayer sessions and sermons, can be very
boring and intimidating to someone without any religious background, like me.
Therefore, I had
originally planned to stay at the church for only a couple of days so that
those youths that I had met in Texas
can take me out around N.Y. Then, I’ll be on my way to visit a friend in Boston.
We can make our own
plans but God may have something very different in store for us. As soon as I
arrived in N.Y., I remember how the brothers and sisters in Queens
welcomed me and made feel so much at home. In fact, I felt like I had come home
even though I knew only a couple of people there. I sensed a strong attraction
from the words I heard during the sermons, and from the love the brothers and
sisters showed me.
An amazing thing
happened. During the afternoon prayer of the second day, I was praying to God
to help a sister who was having a severe headache. Shortly after I knelt down,
I felt my whole body become very warm again. The heat
began to travel down from my head to the rest of my body. Following, I felt my
knees bump up and down against the wooden floor, as if a force had repetitively
lifted my body a half inch above the floor and quickly lowering me down again.
My immediate thought
was, “Oh, no, there must be an earthquake.” But I remembered that there are no
earthquakes in the East Coast. Therefore, I concluded that it must be because I
was too tired from kneeling so long for the last day or so. I quickly shifted
my position in an attempt to stop the bumping but to no avail.
Next, I saw with my
eyes closed, a great bright light cylindrically shone upon me from straight
above. I believed that that light connected me directly with God. At the same
time I saw what must have been the glory of God, and my hands began to shake up
and down. My tongue moved in a different way than the “hallelujahs” I was
trying to repeat—producing a sound totally foreign to me.
After I was
enveloped in this wonderful light for perhaps ten minutes or so, I felt that my
right hand was holding someone else’s hand. In fact, it was a man’s hand; large
and coarse to the touch. I was totally shocked. I had to open my eyes to look,
despite the preacher’s encouragement of not “peeking” during the prayers. I wanted to know whose hand I was holding.
Then, seeing that it
was still my very own left hand, something let me know that it was Jesus
holding my hand. All of a sudden, tears poured down from my eyes. I did not
understand why I was crying, but I remember the immense joy and peace that
flooded my heart at that very moment. Words cannot describe the amazing feeling
that went though me all at the same time.
Finally, my Father
had found me! I felt as if I was a little girl who was so lost for so long that
she even forgot that she was lost. Then, the loving Father had finally took my hand and led me home. The love of Jesus totally
overwhelmed me, filling the “hole” that was in my heart; holes that I did not
know was there. I had never felt such a sense of satisfaction in my life
before. I knew that from then on, I’d never let go of His hand.
After I got up from
that prayer, I learned that I had already received the Holy Spirit. All the
brothers and sisters that had prayed for me were very happy for me, and they encouraged
me to receive baptism at the end of the spiritual convocation.
This meant that I’d
have to stay longer than what I had originally planned, and I’d have to inform
my friend in Boston of the
change. I was sure that she would be very disappointed.
At first I did not
want to make any kind of commitment as serious as baptism. Although I did not
know much about the Bible at the time, at least I could tell that being
baptized meant that I’d be committed for life. As I kept procrastinating on
making a final decision, many of the youths prayed for me. And finally, the
night before the baptism, God let me know through a miraculous way that I
should receive the baptism.
After I went back
home, I did not know how to live as a Christian going forward. No one at the
church knew what kind of a person I was before, although they might have gotten
a hint from my appearance.
What did I look
like? I prided myself on being “unique.” I had my hair cut extremely short on
one side so that my big earring would be prominently displayed, while I left
the other side of my hair long, draping in front of my face, nearly covering
one of my eye. I loved wearing different kinds of hats. And on cold days, I’d
wear a black trench coat.
In one of the
pictures I took in Queens, I had a red hat, red
boots, and a big paperboy bag. I enjoyed getting other people’s attention by
dressing up very differently than others. Although I did not understand at that
time, I realized later that all my “strange” appearances were only displays of
a very empty heart.
In the past, I
resorted to music and dancing to fill the emptiness. I lived on music videos
and I blasted music from the stereo. Whenever I can, I would go to dance
parties or out clubbing. I was so well known among the people I used to hang
out with, they even elected me to be the president of
an Asian-American social club on campus.
But the strange
thing was, the more I surrounded myself with people who enjoyed loud music and
dancing, the more empty I felt. That void in my heart were
so severe at times that I could almost feel the pain physically. TO numb the
pain, I went to more parties and clubs to find some sense of satisfaction.
In this pursuit of
“happiness”, my grades suffered tremendously. The school put me on probation. I
had no sense of purpose or direction in my life. I thought dancing was nothing
evil. It was nothing like drinking, smoking, or using drugs.
I reasoned that it
was simply a nice way of exercise. I considered myself a very moral and “good”
person because I had many friends. But I did not know that I had become very proud,
selfish, and rebellious.
I did not want to
talk to anyone who did not seem to meet my standards. I did not want to speak
Chinese because I concluded that I did not want to waste my time with people
who did not know the way of the American life. I was wasting my parents’
hard-earned money on my own enjoyment and not taking school seriously. I would
not listen to my mother’s pleas for me to come home early at night.
I must thank God
that He found me before I had the chance to start with addictions outside of
music and dancing. It is very likely that I might very well end up in the path
of substance abuse, because I was so lost in that aimless life of mine. Even
though my parents did not know all about what was happening to me, our Father
in Heaven already knew. He stretched out His loving hand and grabbed hold of
mine. And just why did Jesus want to touch someone as wicked as me? That is
something I would never understand.
TRANSFORMED BY GOD’S LOVE
What I do know is
that once I received the Holy Spirit, God took away my desire for loud music
and dancing. Somehow, I did not need any of those things that used to stimulate
In place of the
dancing, I just wanted to read the Bible and pray. In place of the pop songs, I
just wanted to sing hymns to praise and thank God. I decided that I did not
need any of my party friends any more. Instead, I looked forward to Sabbath
every week so that I could be around God’s people.
I had such a sense
of peace and joy in my heart that I no longer minded being alone. I was content
with sitting quietly in my room reading the Bible or singing the few hymns I
just learned. The old me was terrified of being alone.
That was why I kept the speaker volume at the highest setting, in an effort to
drown away that awful loneliness I felt when I was by myself.
I also noticed that
I no longer needed to wear strange-looking clothes to attract people’s
attention. I was happy to go out with whatever old t-shirt and jeans I had in
my closet. I began to consider buying some skirts and dresses that I could wear
to church. Up to that point in my life, I did not own anything feminine like a
skirt or dress. I began to let my hair grow long.
The changes in me
puzzled my family and even myself. No one had actually pointed out to me what I
needed to do to live as a Christian. However, the Holy Spirit Himself guided me
and moved me to do things that were pleasing to Him. The Spirit also taught me
lessons of humility, obedience, and selflessness.
GOD CAN TRANSFORM LIVES
It is truly amazing
what the Spirit of God can do to totally transform someone’s life when He
chooses to. All that is required is our willingness to be open to Him and have
a simple and humble heart before Him. I’ve learned how powerful the Spirit of
God can be. He guided me to Himself, even though I’ve tried to run away from Him
thinking I did not need God.
When God’s spirit
came into me with might, I could no longer deny His existence. I learned for
the first time that my greatest sin was denying my need of God. I thought that
I was in control and that I could handle my life.
But I was finally
convinced by the love of Jesus as He held my hand and let me understand how
much He cared for me. Because God satisfied my empty heart with His spirit, I
gained a new sense of hope and direction. I no longer wanted to live for
myself. Instead, I wanted to give my life to my Maker, Savior, and Friend.
innumerable accounts where God totally transformed people’s lives, and it is
possible for anyone to experience a transformed life today. All that is
required of you is for you to recognize your need, make every effort to read
and listen to His words, and have a simple and humble heart. Jesus is always
ready to transform your life into a much better one.
But the question is:
“Are you ready?”